https://www.speakpipe.com/voice-recorder/msg/vk0uqnc5jf529sr2

My hands run along the wall. Down the stairs. Turn the corner. Right... no was it left? *Never go left.* I turn right and make my way further.

My hands run along the wall. 
Searching fingers 
Furrowed brow. 

I’m grasping for an idea that’s just out of reach. I feel like my mind has skipped a beat, a memory I can’t quite grasp. 

My fingertips brush against painted wood and then my hands still at a flare of sudden recognition, and it comes to me, as it always does. 

I’m trapped in your flat, I just can’t seem to find the door. I remember now! Trapped in this prison with no doors. I remember now that I forgot. Again.  

My hands run along the wall with renewed purpose. Left. I remember the exit was left. *Turn around when you reach the bottom* I keep forgetting which way. 

Was it back the way I came? Down the stairs. Turn the corner and right. Right? *Never go left.* Back the way I came.

I know there was a door. I came in through it only yesterday. No. It was days ago... a week. Or was it two? Three? I try to count the days on my fingers but a wave of confusion washes over me when I try to figure it out, it makes me sway on my feet and it’s easier to just.... stop trying.  What was I doing anyway? 

My hands run along the wall. Down the stairs. Second star to the right and straight on til morning. 

Wait. 

I blink slowly, but thinking is getting hard. Everything filling up with soft, warm complacency, the kind of feeling which makes you want to close your eyes and surrender to it. So I do.

At some point I realise my chin is on my chest, and I’m drooling. I open my eyes, and shake my head to try to clear my thoughts. I was doing something but I...  What was I doing? The door. *But there is no door* 

My hands run along the wall.
Feels right to turn right. And never left. 
*That’s right.~*
Back the way I...  I’m grasping for an idea that’s just out of reach.

I wander, each step closer... or is it each step further.... each step deeper, further, closer, deeper down into that fog of delicious confusion again. 

Turning around when I reach the bottom and with every climbing step up sinking down into that blurry, heady feeling like wine-drunk elation, that blissful place where you can forget your troubles for a while and feel so free, so happy, just carefree and vacant. 

I stumble and a giggle escapes my lips, and I find myself turning around to face you again. Magnetically drawn to you, the source of all my comfort, my love, my passion. You smile and I can’t look away. I was...  looking for you, I think. 

My heart soars. All is well as I take my place before you again, on my knees. So proud to be yours, so devoted. My body ready to be used in any way you see fit. Oh my love, I’m exactly where I should be.