Honestly I'm just bored out of my mind and I'm probably going to take this down but this is just another writing about current situations starting things off well things aren't bad but things aren't good I would definitely say that they are a lot worse than they are good though but also it could be much worse than I'm kind of happy that they didn't get as worse as they could have been I am happy that I wasn't able to see them or whatever and they weren't able to see me for a. Of time let me just give you a rundown we started speaking around Valentines honestly it was all cool and all of that things were cool and then there was some sort of disagreement and stuff like that and my recollection of situations in their collection of a situations or definitely different and that's whatever but it got to the point to where nothing I could do or say would really speak to them or anything and what I mean by that is just they made it seem like anything that I do will always just be habitual or would never have any positive benefit in the situation which they're aware of been trying to work with for a minute just saying that okay that they want me to become a better person and they want to be able to see if I become a better person than things could event but then they want to block me out to make it so they can't see that's just like me telling me Oh if I see that you're doing better as a person then I'll work with you but also I don't want to see you at all I mean it's just kind of dumb I won't get too deep into that but it's really dumb and I was and I still kind of feel like it's pretty impossible for them to see me doing any bit of better so I just came to the conclusion that if I'm putting all this time and all this effort into trying to work with them and trying to honestly just be better or do better or just communicate better even and all of that is going to nothing and it seems just like they had much rather just no communication than fixing the communication which had a hole in it then it was honestly just like what is the point of even trying to work with them it would be so much more simple to find some sort of way to feel as if I got back in the situation is over but I already know all those would stem in a negative way I mean honestly I don't truly care at the end of the day because it's going to be what it's going to be and it's going to be how it's going to be and if it plays out in a way to where I'm able to contact them and I'm available explain them everything hopefully that can happen all right but just for context honestly I'm still pretty upset and sad for how I portrayed myself a lot of this but I'll start off with saying that a point of time maybe 2 years ago or around 2 years ago or like a year and a half ago a new student can my school named Preston honestly I don't care about saying his name anymore because it's whatever but he came to the school and then the person who I was with always told me oh he seemed super cool and he lives in the neighborhood and he seems friendly and I was always cautious about that maybe around 2 months after he came and started to settle in a friend of mine who's really close to the person I was with and close to me told me and tried to sell me secretly that there's a good chance that they were like seeing each other hanging out and he's talking and stuff like that in a romantic way and there were plans of the meeting up outside of school keep in mind this is something which the person was with never told me so it's pretty fair for me to come with some sort of uncertainty or feeling of upset and it's about that because if they're going to go behind my back and do things which honestly I wouldn't have a problem if they were friendly but if they're going to go behind my back and try and speak then that's going to be a problem and then try to make things bigger than that behind my back that's just even worse but I digress but then after the third month I heard and saw messages of my friend who I won't name what was a mutual friend at that point of time who was in both of our classes of the French only text between them and the person I was with showing the person I was with saying things about how they met up with Preston and how they had such a great time and how they got food and stuff like that and how they went out and did all that keep him on the person was never told me about this so it's pretty obvious their intention was to hide and do something unfaithful I still have the screenshots whenever I go back to him it just makes me feel some kind of way inside it makes me feel like there's so much which could have been done with this and how things could have been so great I remember so many good memories like picking out the animal I won't even name which one and just so many things it's pretty weird honestly but now after that giving gifts into all that and then meeting up Bahama back and having a friend of mine tell me that they had romantic plans or whatever and we're just trying to hide stuff or whatever always just seemed weird at that point I told them was just stop hanging out with Preston and I thought they probably would but then after a while I started hearing from one of my friends who was informing me of stuff that rode their bus saying that they still were speaking and still were being friendly so I just came to the point that if they're going to do stuff like this then who cares and I decided to meet someone who all just call Snow White honestly if you know me I'll roll you can tell pretty obvious who this is the Snow White is a person who I just found and I spoke to and they seem pretty interesting honestly from the start of me contacting them it was cool speaking of them I liked who they were as a character and as a person but also I didn't really feel anything for them but that same day where I was just going to hang out with them I received the message and the rest of the day was kind of down but the message was a screenshot of some sort of text the guy named Preston who I thought was just really friendly and trying to be nice was somehow like flirty and getting gift for the person who I was with and the person was talking about hanging up and like walking to each other's houses and stuff like that and accepting the gifts at once upon a time I found one of the gifts that he tried to give them and I was just begging them to honestly just not accept it at that point it was truly done for me the worst part is is honestly at this point they don't contact me and I don't really contact them honestly I'm still considering because at this point they're so dumb with how they can figure their phone and devices I can pretty much tap into any of their devices with my laptop in a legal form which is accepted by the Apple terms of service is not work any sort of rules and or legal/ethical concerns but I would love to say that honest at this point there's nothing stopping me from just making a billion all accounts and just texting them and trying to get there attention but honestly that's one of the saddest ways I could do it awesome being obscure and sad with how I do it honestly is not too far from me but let me get deeper into this they started talking about God Preston in a good friend of mine around that point of time who's a friend with theirs who I would sit with during class would show me screenshots every day and it would just get worse and just start to feel worse scene how much they were saying and what they planned on and all that then I had a friend come to me with other screenshots and honestly I kind of question the reality of them because they seem so good to be true that they might be photoshopped or whatever but I also like think is not really anyone who would have any sort of intention of fake screenshots and messed up what we had at that point of time honestly I just think about the fun moments even recently but just for more context around 3:00 to 4 months into them talking to Preston since they came to school I just decided who cares and that I would find someone else to speak to that someone else ended up being someone who I referred to a snow white honestly I'm just not using their real name out of respect for them I mean I don't really see anything in them honestly but I do respect them as a person knowing that they are friends with people I'm friends with and they don't seem to deluded or confuse because in the past even when I've had altercations or misunderstandings they've all pretty much ended in a well manner and there's a reason that I haven't really done anything or had anything against them it's because they decide to respond to the situation and the smartest way possible the reason I say that is because Snow White is still a person should I kind of feel bad for because they got looped into me trying to get back at my ex because they were talking to someone in Preston and I still am genuinely sorry for that but I was honestly in a pickle but that doesn't excuse what I did so my ex and Order Snow White so I'm still sorry to both of them for that but I also just hate it because I think everyday when I was trying to buy them gifts everyday when they were texting me about how they had no food and needed food there was a chance that they were hanging out with Preston hours before or even worse it just makes me feel really bad because even in the worst of times I would always have their back even if I felt like they were horrible person or even if I felt like they were doing something behind my back honestly it never really overshadowed the care that I had and still at this point I still do care for them as a person and I still will do and have done things to defend them I won't get too deep into it but a group of girls planned about how they were going to jump this person who I used to be with even on this is just a theoretical situation in this totally never happened this is just to add on to the story and it's definitely never happened not at all three girls would never try and plan to jump them when they were walking home from school but if it did happen theoretically then I was able to make sure that wouldn't happen and they wouldn't ever mess with my ex in general it's honestly just so weird I mean at least I hear some of my music it's kind of cool knowing that they hear the songs which if it's not obvious or written surrounding them or stuff like that but I mean even if they hate it it's better than anything I mean it just gives me more stuff to write about honestly but I just want to ask how is it that when they were speaking someone in Preston and when they were doing things about my back around 4-6 months earlier than I started anything it's a problem when I decide hey I'll probably speak to someone else too honestly pretty soon I'm going to go public with this like within my school and I've paid a couple people and I planned to pay a couple people to help me work to like explain situation to people what I mean by that is like just showing screenshots and stuff like that in showing who they are as a person because of pretty weird I do admit that I'm pretty degenerate for a lot of my actions but also I'm the one who sat there for hours of my time but I look fair amount of money worth of gifts wrote almost 50,000 words at minimum I just trying to speak to them on Instagram and compel how sorry I was and instead of trying to listen to me they just want to throw the situation away I mean that would have been perhaps maybe beneficial but trying to throw the situation away while still posting and talking negatively about me especially to my face is just crazy the last person who is doing stuff like that this kid who I saw in the hallway he already was dealt with he already knows that he would not speak to me that way again and there's a mutual sense of respect but it's honestly just baffling how this situation ended honestly at the start I was like hey I probably shouldn't do anything to anyone they know keep in mind this and many other statements which I'm about to say are just jokes and don't have any sort of real conviction to real life I want to specify everything said does not mean anything at all and it's just to portray a dramatic image just know nothing I say and or convey in this writing or after this is true and or real this is not a threat to any person and or persons there's a reason why I kept this as Anonymous as possible but now let me get into it honestly at the start I was thinking hey if I want this personal consider me back as a option and then I probably shouldn't do anything to them or their friends but first of all no I think about it it's just like for all this time they were hiding stuff about Preston and I knew they were talking to Preston around the third month because our mutual classmate was showing me screenshots and telling me what they were talking about and all that but I mean they could have just spoken it over with me and I'd much rather have been happy with that but then portraying me at some dirty cheater after I found out from a mutual friend that they were talking to one of the new kids at my school it's just weird honestly I don't know because I never even brought the topic up and it's just like they're trying to hide something or not speak of something for some reason also I just want to specify today I went up to them in class because it's honestly like there's no way I'm just going to let the situation slide and I'm not going to forget about it I mean yeah I hear what I talk about in my music I truly just don't care about so many things if they block me then I'll pay one of my friends to go up to them and ask them a million questions in the loop will just continue until either things are cool or until I'm happy and feel content with knowing that I make things is horrible as possible or at least as far as possible they have been able to recognize that hey the same kid who they said they never cared about I was getting screenshots from a mutual friend who I don't know if they  still have communication with but they told me pretty much everything and I just tried to act like nothing happened and still when I was trying to communicate to him I portrayed myself as if I was the aggressor I can't say that there were a lot of situations even in life and with me involved to where I was negative or I did do things out of pocket but honestly it's like at this point if there's no chance and if the things that they're saying and showing me are true and there's no chance of getting things to ever work back again honestly I don't really care but it just removes any sort of animosity or safety or anything like that I would have towards their mother friends now I just want to speak on a topic we just kind of personal to me I just want to specify I definitely do not have any sort of device or tool implanted into any of their and or people that care about cellular device that would be very unethical and morally and wrong so I want to specify that I don't but in theory if I did it would be a possibility to where I could get a live location a live logins so I can log into any account I could get any photo which they get sent take and or delete even if the photo was already deleted I can access all iCloud information all app data read through text download contacts and with those contacts find the addresses to anyone they decide to text and even worse or better keep in mind none of this is ever possible and this is so far fetch no one would ever put so much time to ruin someone or to make things as bad as possible for someone I mean no one could hurt you that bad right.... All right but away from the jokes none of that is at all possible but in a theoretical situation I mean honestly it would just make sense to do whatever I could do to make things as bad as possible for them they can't even deny it stay transparent and I even apologize that got gifts I was ready to do whatever I could but it just got to the point where my attempts of trying to be better or trying to work things out never worked and in the end I just looks like they decide to speak to some kid named Preston and then when I spoke to someone else they have a problem with it and also I just want to specify when that mutual friend stop saying stuff about Preston around May of 2023 Communications were cut with the person I was speaking to which honestly I mean what they weren't cutting the most positive light and things weren't the best with me and Snow White but honestly they were much better than what they could have been I mean it could have been a lot worse but Communications were cut and then I assumed that since Preston and then stop talking then they weren't speaking to anyone else but as it comes to see being able to go through messages because I don't have access to any of their accounts because that would be super crazy but in a theoretical sense if I could go through messages and I saw messages at that time of them speaking of someone else and or just insinuating or speaking other people then it's just a kind of weird situation honestly I'm so confused and if you did read this or even took the time to say comprehend her hear what I'm trying to say I'll be eternally thankful for you honestly I just post this to schizophrenically rent to an empty void but to the 1% of people who saw this and decided to read it thank you so much honestly I'm just so confused with what I can do because honestly I already know that a lot of people are going to say just leave it alone and just try to leave the person but honestly I'd much rather make it to 16 and just not make it any farther but know that I was able to make things better and just enjoy things honestly I don't know I do know that I have some sort of thing within me which makes it kind of harder to detach from people and things like that but also it just feels like what they did was so dirty but also there were so many great things with me and them as a person I mean I could just bring up so many great things like getting their animals for the room Halloween and just so many things there are so many great memories I can comprehend but I can also say there were a lot of negative things but pretty much everything negative always was worked over to the Friends of their talks spoken to most of them just said that I'm pretty dumb for not speaking to them and asking them about Preston sooner and I handled it the wrong way they did say that they were a couple negative things with me and them but they also said usually they usually ended sooner than I started what that means like I don't even know but things which happen for negative usually stopped around the time of day started honestly I already know no one's going to read this but the one who does you're great person and thank you for comprehending it but honestly I just sit in class everyday and I just think about how strange the situation could be and how much better things could be currently I mean I do kind of feel bad for what it is a Snow White and I directly do you know that I let a situation with Preston and all them influence what I did in a negative manner which is pretty sucky I do think that if Snow White was able to be involved it's just the mutual friend and I was able to somehow work things out with a personal referring to things could honestly be so much better but honestly just gets to the point of if I'm doing all this to try and get back and try and work things out and none of my attempts work the main reason that I just never handled the situation in some sort of inappropriate or for lack of a better word extreme manner is because I thought that me trying to work with them would make it so they would to me is a better person and that I could reflect a better person which I try to become better day by day but honestly if none of my actions reflect that it doesn't change anything and there's no reason not to go up to the people who they care about and who they actually care about