You are Red Roaring, a streamer trying to figure out the mystery of your family tree. You see CamtheCameraman online and you try to ask her a question.
CamtheCameraman: "Hey, what do you think about my father?"
Red Roaring: "What do I think? He is an idiot.
CamtheCameraman's father is also your husband, and things are starting to get complicated. You need to figure out the truth.
Actually, it's actually really easy. CamtheCameraman's father is not your husband, he is another YouTuber, RhettCTE.

> You approach your husband AP Chess, and try to ask him about CamtheCameraman nicely.
AP Chess: "Hey babe, what do you think about my daughter?"
Red Roaring: "Your daughter? Weird, I didn't know you had one.
londonreturns purrs in the background as Apollo hisses at him. These cats have always been at odds, and the fight is very distracting.
AP is distracted enough to forget about asking you and turning his attention back to his daughter.

> You grab AP Chess by the arm and pull him around. "How have you never told me about your daughter?!" you cry.
AP Chess: "Wha...?"
Red Roaring: "You have a daughter? When did she get so... grown up?"
AP answers your question, but his eyes still have the look of confusion.
Hamlet can be heard in the kitchen, whipping up some of their famous Chinese food. Londonreturns and Apollo scramble to the kitchen, looking to get the first serve of the food.
AP looks at you, and a confused look appears on his face. He then starts laughing, and hugs you.
AP: "Hey! How's my favorite girlfriend doing?"

> You accept the hug, but you still have so many questions. After a few seconds you let him go, and tell him you want to see Zechistan.
AP: "Of course! You're bound to have more questions."

> You call a family meeting over dinner. You ask everyone to join you on a quest to find Zechistan.
Apollo, CamtheCameraman and Londonreturns all join you as Wolfgar, the Zorya's ghoul, is tied to a chair in the room.

> You say "AP Chess, could you please look after the ghoul while we're gone? Please don't try to marry it."
AP: "...... Sure thing."
Camthecameramamnan: "I'll... I'll help you look after Dad!"
AP: "Oh, um, sure..."

> You say "Camthecameraman, you said you'd come help me find Zechistan. Is there a reason why you want to stay behind with AP Chess?"
Camthecameramamnan: "I just don't feel like going. I don't want to leave home."
AP and Red Roaring look at each other.
Over the many years of their marriage, the pair had learnt to say paragraphs in only short meaningful glances. CamtheCameraman look at her father, who was also her fiance, and wondered what was going through his mind. Londonreturns complimented Hamlet on their fantastic cooking, hoping to relieve the tension.
Zechistan:
You had left your study, a large room filled with bookshelves, with the goal of finding Zechistan.

> You storm out the house, not quite knowing where to go to find Zechistan, but knowing it would be a long and arduous journey. You begin to walk up the street, calling out for Zechistan.
Zechistan: "Zech, Zech! Where are you?"
Zechistan appears a few streets away. He stops next to you and smiles.
Zechistan cuts a majestic figure as he wears the flag of Wales about his shoulders proudly. It flutters in the wind, almost distracting from the fact he is wearing little else. You look up to him, tears rolling down your face.
Zechistan kneels down next to you and takes your hands as he looks into your eyes.

> You say "Zechistan, I don't know what to do. AP Chess never told me about his daughter. What should I do?"
Zechistan: "I'm sorry, I just found out a few weeks ago. Let me try and come up with a solution."
Zech begins to think, his eyebrows scrunching together.

> You say "Would you like to come home? Maybe together we could figure this all out."
Zechistan: "Maybe later. I think I should stay in town. Take care of things here."
Zech pulls his hands away and stands up, sighing as he does so.

> You say "Wait! Only just found you. Do you at least know where our uncles are?"
Zechistan: "Yeah, they're in some old abandoned house on the other side of town. You can't miss it. Abaddon's marked on the map.."

> You look at the map that Zechistan produces. Sure enough, the great demon Abaddon has marked on the map where thefakeblues and Hill live together. You set off towards the house.
The house is large, bigger than your house. The walls are made out of polished stone, and surrounded by a tall wooden fence. The fence has several holes that allow you to see who might be walking outside.
As you approach the house, you realise that ChesserGamer has been following the whole time. You jump with surprise as he comes up behind you, and asks why we're here.
You explain that you want to go into the house and sort things out with Hill and the rest. Chesser looks worried for a moment, but nods.

> You say "I'm glad you came with me son. Those uncles make me a bit nervous, but they always seem so happy to see you. let's go!"
You knock firmly on the wooden door. After a few moments, the door opens slowly. Standing behind it is Markov, the old man who had given you a ride to the city.

> You say "Hello Markov. I would like to see my uncles, please."
The door opens more as you look inside. Standing there, grinning from ear to ear is Hill and sitting on a chair is the last member of the band, Blues.

> You say "Hi Hill! Hi Blues! Look how tall Chesser is growing!"
Blues bursts into laughter as Hill stands up from the chair. Hill is a few years older than you, although it seems like he's a lot older than you actually are.

> You say "Can I come in for a bit of dessert? We had Chinese at home, but things got a bit awkward when a ghoul showed up, amongst other things."
Hill nods, as do his uncles. You step past them all as they close the door. Turning to face Hill, you think for a moment before speaking.

> You say "Have you seen Lost lately? I feel like I haven't seen her since her wedding to CamtheCameraman."
Hill sighs.
"I've been sort of..."
He looks down briefly, before looking up at you.
"I've been sort of distracted recently."

> You sit down at the kitchen table and eat some garlic bread the Blues made earlier. You nod sympathetically with Hill.
Hill nods, as do his unples. You head into the lounge, where Hill sits on the sofas. You take a seat next to him, and the lights dim slightly. The film is about to begin.

> You say "What are we going to watch, uncle Hill? Is it appropriate for Chesser?"
Hill turns to you, smiling.
"I think he'll be fine. It involves a boy escaping from a cult, and him being cared for by some pretty attractive people. Trust me, it's fine."
As the opening credit roll, you realise that this is actually a home movie, shot by Zechistan. You see a younger version of AP Chess, having just escaped the cult and living under Zechistan's care. They seem very happy together.
Some of the footage is in black and white, some in color. You see how Hill and Chesser fell in love, and the arrival of their new daughter Lost.
Hill and Chesser quietly hold hands. You never realised how deep their relationship was. You are proud of your son for finding love, and having such a beautiful daughter. You ask, "Where is Lost now?"
"She's in a orphanhouse in the city," Hill explains to you. "It's best that she has the best upbringing possible while we look after her until she's ready to take care of herself.

> You go to the orphanhouse with Hill, Chesser and Blues to go see Lost.
You step out of the hatch, and quickly stand up. The sun is much brighter here than inside, although it's still much darker than it is during the day.
The city of London always did have such weird weather. It begins to rain as you trudge the street as a pack. You wonder about how cool it is the londonreturns has a city named after him, and what a coincidence it was that Lost ended up living here. You buy some flowers to give to Lost.
Horns blow and the street is suddenly filled with Bastards.
"Go upstairs!" Hill yells, pushing you into the barber's shop.

> You dash up the baber shop stairs, clinging to Chesser's hand. You call AP Chess and Cam on your mobile, telling them about the situation.
Hill and the others quickly head upstairs. You stand on the stairwell, calling to both of them.
"I've got them! On my position!"
Hill bursts through the door, quickly followed by Blues.

> You ask AP and Cam to parachute in as soon as possible. You make sure Chesser is safe, and then follow your uncles into battle.
You and your uncles quickly grab a gun from one of the dead paratroopers, grabbing their D-Day Commemorative Beret in the process.
You know that Zechistan has always wanted one of these berets, and plan to give it to him as a gift if you all make it out alive. You manage to subdue the bastards in the barber shop, just in time as AP Chess and CamtheCameraman arrive in a jet. While you, your uncles and the paratroopers take care of the Bastards in the shop, Camgoes into a rage and flies directly towards the gunfight.
"Guns! Go!" Hill yells.
Suddenly, all action stops as they see Lost holding Apollo standing in the middle of the field. They are both crying at the senseless violence.
"It's ok, babes," Cam says reassuringly, running over to pick them up. "You stay here with your cat."

> You run over to Lost, giving her a big hug. "I'm so sorry that you got caught up in all of this! I only wanted answers!"
"I'm sorry too," Lost says. "I know Apollos a really bad guy, but he's also someone who should be protected. If we're gonna fight, let's do it for the right reasons."

> You call up your sister Arcadia and ask her to take Lost and Apollo home.
"I'll be home as soon as I can!" you yell, running along the street.
"OK!" she yells back, before running into her house.

> You call for a family huddle so that you can plan your next move against the bastards.
You finish going over your plans with your family, and confirm what you already decided; you're all sticking together.

> You say "AP, I'm sorry I was upset about Cam before, but I understand that sometimes you just have daughter. I hope on day you two can be as happily married as we are."
"Yeah, me too," AP says. "By the way, I'm leaving the city with my family for awhile. If you need me, I'll be at my parents' house in Washington."

> You say "Did everyone know about this? Are you all going with Washington with AP?"
"Just my family and a few others. It's best not to bring too many people into this," Cam explains.
It had been kept a secret, but AP Chess had been elected to congress. That's why the bastards were attacking - they were trying to weaken his family. But who had organised such a hit job? The hit itself was brutal and tricky, requiring a high level of skill, planning and irresponsibility.

> You say "There's only one person I can think of who would organise such a hit... are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Yep. Your father's behind it," Cam says.
Hill nods slowly, tapping his chin.
It all makes sense. Why he had said he had to stay in the city. Why he had been gone for so long. Why he wouldn't answer any of our calls. Zechistan, the head of the family, had organised a hit so that his first born son AP Chess could go to congress and become president.
But why Hill? Your father had served with distinction during the war. Campertown was crime-ridden but still easily holding out against the Kishak Empire.

> You take Hill by the hand and look him in the eye. "You have to talk to Zechistan, otherwise we'll never know peace. Your daughter will never be safe if Zechistan thinks she'll get in the way of AP's presidency."
"I understand, son. I'll talk to him."
Campertown is in chaos.
There is shooting, explosions and people running all over the place.

> You jump into the nearest truck and hide everyone in the back as you try to leave Campertown.
You continue on until the truck stops.
"Stop!" Hill yells as he gets out of the car.
You continue driving, but Hill pulls open the door and grabs you by the collar.

> You say "Hill, I know you're scared, but we have to get to Zechistan! We'll all talk to him together, you have to let me go."
Hill doesn't listen. He begins running ahead towards the fight.
"Hill, you have to come back!" you yell.
You continue driving as General Hill is cut down by Kishak soldiers.
Cry for Hill's death, and leave his body to the dogs.
"Hill!" you yell as the Kishak soldiers fire their guns in the air, buying you time to drive away.
The truck is silent as it heads back into town. Hill's loss weighs heavily on everyone. Chesser cries for his partner, despairing over what to tell Lost. You never wanted it to go this way. But now the whole family is determined to track down Zechistan and bring him to justice.
After a long drive, you arrive back in the city. Campertown looks like a warzone. more than a few buildings have collapsed, and there are fires burning in many places.
"This is hopeless..."
Up on the highest spire stands Zechistan, his cape fluttering in the wind. He looks down upon his family with disdain. They were supposed to be dead, and his son AP ascending to presidency as of that moment. Instead, everything was ruined, and he would make them pay.
His attention turns to you as you arrive. You and the rest are ordered to draw weapons.
"Hm, finally. I was starting to wonder if you were going to make me wait."

> You say "Zechistan! I thought you loved us! We all loved you, and now Hill is dead. How could you do this?!"
"Love? Maybe at one time, but not anymore. I need to do what's best for me and my family. My needs are greater than yours.

> You step forward and shake your fist at Zechistan. "You were like a father to me!" you cry.
This angers him, and he raises his hand to cast a lightning bolt. "Get out of the way!" you shout and push your friends out of the way as you take the hit.
Your husband, siblings, sons, nieces and nephews and uncles all crowd around your frail body. The lightning strike was powerful, and you can feel the life force steadily ebbing away from your body. "I'm sorry guys... I don't think I'm going to make it," you whisper.
"Mom!"
"Mom!"
"Mom!"
Your children's voices ring out all at once. You take a deep breath and smile.
You are very happy.

> You say "Please... don't let my death be in vain. I know you can make Zechistan see reason, just talk to him..."
You are disturbed by the memories. You remember when Zechstan first came here, how beautiful and bright it was. But then, he began to change things.
He became more distant, and harder to talk to. What was once a loving family man soon became a hard to reach shell, always out, never asking for more Chinese food. As your consciousness begins to fade, you think about how nice it would be to just have one more mean from Hamlet, surrounded by all your loved ones. You smile.
Then, you hear a gunshot. Your smile disappears as you hear another nearby. Then, a third, and a fourth. You turn your head to look at your children, your last concern.
You see Chesser, down on his knees. He had protected your body with his, and now would pay with his life for his bravery. Next to him, CamtheCameraman lay curled up, barely a whimper to be heard as a bright crimson pool appeared under her. Lost too had been stuck, though thankfully it was quick and painless, and she now lay sprawled, blood seeping from under her fringe. The last casualty, and the most heartbreaking, was the limp figure of Apollo. He had taken the very first bullet, in an attempt to save everyone. Your heart breaks for him as he lies prone on the ground, an assassin's pistol nearby.
Zechistan stands over the carnage he wrought. "I told you, children. It didn't have to be this way, is only you could have left my favourite son alone. But now it's too late." You feel the last breath slowly seeping from your lungs, but then you hear a familiar voice. "No, dad... you're wrong." Hill approaches his father, and then looks down at the bodies.
"I was scared to confront you here. I knew of your true power, but I never thought you would go this far. But no more! This isn't how it's supposed to be!" Hill cries. Behind him emerges Hamlet, with a basket of all their finest treats. He gently feeds Apollo some fishcake, tears springing from their eyes. "Come on, little buddy..." Hamlet whispers. A moment passes. Then, Apollo's tail begins to twitch. His big green cat eyes open, and he nuzzles Hamlet's hand affectionately.
"Please, stop this. He told me that he could find a better compromise." Your last bit of strength leaves you, and you lay on the ground.
Hill nods, and blocks Zech's rain of lightning. "She's right, father! There is a better compromise, you just have to listen!" Meanwhile, Hamlet continues to feed magical fishcakes to all of the fallen, and one by one they begin to revive.
Zechstan stares at his former son. "You dare oppose me? After all I've done for your family?" He points to the bodies, and the only thing left alive.
Hill shakes his head. "We saw the family movie this afternoon. I know how much you love AP Chess and that you both had a hard life, but this isn't the way to solve things." AP Chess wipes his eyes and stands in front of his beloved parent. "Please, Zech... this has to stop. I love all my wives, children, uncles, nephews and nieces. I don't want to be president if I can't take them with me to congress. Don't you understand that this is what I want?" Zech nods slowly, a small smile on his face.
You manage to stand again, then wave at the two of them. You have one last thing to say.

> You say "Team nice dynamite!"
Hamlet stares at you incredulously. "What?"
"I don't know," you admit. "Just... team nice dynamite!" He smiles, and nods.
"Right!" Hill adds.
Arcadia comes over with all the children in tow, seeing that the conflict has ended. "See children, I know that everyone could get along well. In the end, being a part of a team, is kind of like being in a family. It takes all kinds to make it work."
Everyone smiles at this: even you find yourself smiling at this, despite your cynical nature. Who knew Zechs could be so wise?
And with that, Eminent closed the story book, and looked at Redstorm over his glasses. "So what did you think of that story? I'm happy it had a happy ending, aren't you?" But Redstorm was already asleep.
Eminent frowned, and patted him on the head. "Goodnight, Redstorm." Then, he looked at you.
In his dreams, Redstorm said, "What the actual hell." But that was the end of the story.