what you need first is 800 grams of cream cheese
almost one kilogram of it
then you need 300 mL of milk cream
a considerably sized package of plain chocolate cookies
100 grams of butter
half a *** of sugar
and a *** worth of tasteless gelatin


- Leave the cheese out of the fridge until it's at room temperature. This makes it softer and easier to blend with the other ingredients.
- Use a blender (or a mortar and pestle) to crush all of the cookies into a fine powder. Then, pour all of the cookie powder into the mold you're going to use for the cheesecake. Make sure it's either a mold with detachable walls, or you cover the inside with baking paper. Otherwise, you'll have a hard time getting the cheesecake out of the mold.
- Put the 100 grams of butter on a bowl and melt all of it.
- Pour the butter on the cookie powder and use your hands to mix it up. When it's all mixed, mold it to be the base of the cheesecake.
- Chop up the cheese into the smallest pieces you can.
- Boil a *** of water. When the water boils, use it to fill a ***, and put the gelatin powder on it. Stir it until it's all dissolved.
- Fill half a *** with sugar.
- After all the individual ingredients are done (cheese, sugar and gelatin), pour only a small amount of each one into a blender, blend it until it's uniform, then drop in some more. Repeat this until you've blended everything. It's important to do it bit by bit because otherwise the cheese won't blend properly.
- When you're done making that weird cheesy substance, pour the milk cream on a different bowl, then use a mixer to make whipped cream. Try not to mix it too much or it'll spoil when you mix it with the cheese.
- Pour the whipped cream and the cheesy mix into a single bowl, then mix them slowly and manually until it's uniform enough.
- Pour the whole mixture into your mold.
- Shove it into the fridge.
- Wait 12 hours.
- Profit.