You are posting on your favorite mongolian scrimshaw messageboard when you are suddenly blinded by a flash of light! As you frantically blink the spots from your eyes, you hear a deep voice. "It's so good to finally have you back! When you were but a babe, the kingdom was under threat from dark forces and we hid you in another dimension for your safety. Time passes strangely between our realms, and you ended up in the body of a male due to a quirk of the spell. Not to worry though, now that you're home we've cast a spellon you that will help you become the princess you should have been. But what if you don't want to be a Pretty Princess? What a ludicrous idea! In any case the more you struggle against the spell, the angrier it will become." Mechanics: You must endure the curse for at least one round. After the first round you can convince your new parents to call it off if you really beg. Each round consists of four sets in which you draw three cards (or rather, generate three random numbers, rerolling doubles) and pick one, gaining effects based on how many times you've taken that card. If you dislike the cards on offer, you can choose to take none for two points. Alternately, you can more than one to gain one point per additional card. If you draw a card that you already have the maximum level of, gain 1 point. Some cards have two sets of effects, a blessing and a curse. By default you get the curse side, but you may pay 1 point to instead gain the Blessing. Once you pick a Blessing or Curse you can only gain more of that Blessing or Burse, but you still have to pay to pick blessings. Additionally, you do not get points for taking multiple cards if you only took blessings. If you end a round with negative points, draw that many cards, redrawing if you get a card that you already have the maximum level of or a blessing card that you've already taken, and take all those cards. To draw a card, generate a random number between 1 and 20. If the number is between one and sixteen, draw that card. If it is between seventeen and twenty, generate a number between 1 and 32 and draw that rare card. After completing a round, gain one point for each round you've completed (1 for 1, 2 for 2, and so on). You may play a total of 6 round. 1. Maidenhood Special: You may take this in place of any other option up to three times. (1) There is one part of every noblewoman that is, frankly, her most important feature. I speak of what is between her legs. With this, marriage alliances and the enjoining of bloodlines can occur. Now you too have one. You will still have a functioning manhood, but where your testes used to be you will instead have a cute little maidenhood. Both will be capable of creating children, and abnormal genital configurations are relatively common in your new kingdom. With this your father will surely be able to find a marriage for you, no matter what Sthe rest of you looks like. (2) Don't think of it as loosing a dick, rather, think of it as excising an unsightly growth. You no longer have a manhood at all. Any protestations that you are not a woman will tend to fall flat, though cases such as yours are comparatively common. With effort, and depending on what other changes the curse makes, you might be able to convince your family to allow you to live as a man despite your gental situation. (3) Now that you are all woman, all that's left is to make it as great as possible. You are exceedingly fertile and can expect a horde of children, and will remain nice and tight for your entire life. Your husband will enjoy it, but you might wish he were smaller, or that he were less interested in marital relations. You can expect to spend a considerable portion of your married life pregnant unless you are either religious about birth control, or convince your husband to use other holes. 2. Radiant (1) Your body transforms better fit your new station. You do not look exceedingly feminine, but you still obviously have the body of a girl. While every princess is different, you can expect to have small *******, loose a few inches in height, and see your face soften. Even if you cut it short, your hair will look cute, and your nails will appear well kept even if you try to gnaw them off. Your voice will raise in pitch, becoming androgynous at best, girly at worst. If you bind your ******* and wear male clothes, you might be able to pass as a non-masculine man. (2) You can no longer hide behind a shield of androgyny; you are obviously a woman. Your hair is long, your feet dainty and nails manicured. Your voice is beautiful and feminine. Your waist is thin, emphasizing your hips, rear, and *******. Any man would be happy to see your face looking up at them at a ball, or beneath them in bed. And you will have to look up; you're as tall as any other woman now. Convicing people you're a man will require bulky clothes or armor and a helmet. (3) I hope you like hearing minstrels sing of your beauty, and endless attempts at courting from every unattached noble on the continent! Your body is dainty save for your curves, which are generous. Your face could be a model's with doe eyes, a tiny nose, and thick lips, your hair cascades down your back, and you are small enough that you need to look up to many other women. Your voice is beautiful, you could have been a minstrel in another life. You look like you're always wearing at least subtle makeup and nail polish, while your sweat smells floral. You can forget about convicing anyone you're a man, even if you were to smear mud on your face you would look like a Hollywood actress with some artful accents. 3. Fashion Statement (1) Men's clothing is too rough for your delicate skin. From now on, all your clothing must be for women. If you wear pants and a shirt, they'll need to be made of expensive cloth, cut for a women, and probably be in pastel colors with decorative lace or frills. Should you put on men's clothing you will find it to be itchy and uncomfortable at first, before breaking out into a rash. The more you diverge from your prescribed fashion, and the longer you go, the worse it will become, until you look more like a zombie than a princess. (2) Say farewell to pants. Stockings and tights are the most you can cover your legs with, and any skirts you wear will be ostentatiously frilly. Expect petticoats to feature heavily in your closets. Your day dresses wouldn't look out of place at a lolita fashion show, your shoes are now dainty things unfit for any difficult task, and you will have to become used to carrying a handbag or purse, since pockets are things of the past. In addition, you will have to wear at least minor amounts of makeup, nail polish, style your hair, and keep up a skincare routine. (3) Beauty is pain, and you will know the truth of that statement for the rest of your life. High heels, corsets, and dresses with skirts so wide that you have difficulty going through some doors are now a constant feature of your life. You will be wearing full makeup each day, painting your nails to match your outfits, and putting your hair into elaborate styles. Doing it alone will be incredibly difficult, so expect to rely on a small army of maidservants to get you into and out of your clothes every single day. Don't worry though, you're a princess, so you'll never need to move unencumbered like a peasant. 4. Grace (1) You are graceful in a way that suggests at least a decade of strict teaching to get you that way. You almost seem to float or glide, and you could easily balance textbooks on your head. When you sit you look prim, and your arms and hand motions are just as elegant. Attempting to go against these new instincts will feel unnatural, and the moment you stop focusing on it you'll be right back to your new normal. (2) Your mannerisms have passed graceful and entered into feminine. If your body looks male, people will think that you're a homosexual. Your arms will make animated gestures like the feminine, pretty princess you are, your hands will twirl your hair if you lose focus. When you ride, it will be most comfortable to do so sidesaddle, and when you sit it will be with your legs together - wouldn't want anyone to see your underthings! (3) You can no longer control your body with focus. The most you can do is nothing, should you want to resist your new muscle memories. You will find yourself curtsying when you greet people, offering your hand to be kissed by men, or kissing the cheeks of noblewomen. When you dance, it will be impossible for you to lead. If you attempt to attack someone, it will end up as a limp-wristed slap, rather than any sort of punch or kick. Don't think of this as a curse, think of it as fast-tracking years of deportment lessons. 5. Vocal Training (1) You gain an upper classs accent and speech patterns. You will find some exceedingly lower class words and phrases impossible to say. Should you try, they will be automatically replaced with a classier variant. "I ain't got no" becomes "I haven't any," and so on. On the bright side, you'll fit right into your new social circles (2) The word filter becomes much more aggressive, most notably including swear words. Go ahead, try to "Darn this fluffing curse to heck," you'll only sound utterly adorable. It's probably best to avoid such crass things if you want to be taken seriously in the slightest. Additionally, the filter will replace your name with a cutesy, feminine sounding nickname, probably by adding 'ie' to the end. Even if you persist in trying to say that you're a man, you'll sound like you're a flaming homosexual. (3) Your voice now has something of a mind of its own. A mind that thinks you are the most girly princess to ever princess. When you see a cute animal or baby you'll find your mouth cooing, and when you have a conversation with an attractive man you'll find flirtatious phrases slipping in. When discussing feminine activities, you'll sound enthused, no matter your actual opinions on the topic. If you try to talk about a masculine subject, like war, you'll find yourself sounding as if you have no understanding of the topic, though if any listeners were able to defilter your words the content would remain unchanged. 6. Second Childhood (1) It is truly tragic that you were forced to grow up outside of the luxury of the castle; you've almost certainly picked up any number of bad habits! You age down to 16 and will be treated as your new age. You can expect extensive lessons on rulership, ettiquitte, dance, and all other things a princess needs to know. You won't have as much freedom as an adult until you turn 18, and your new parents will attempt to mold you into a proper noble. Expect both normal rewards or corporeal punishment, as well as magical reinforcement. Nothing too extreme, just somewhat painful shocks and unnatural feelings of despair for disobedience, or a pleasant high as a reward. (2) Two years isn't a lot of time to fix a lifetime of bad habits! You'll age down to a precocious 12 year old. I'm sure the next five years will be filled with lessons, hanging out with other noblewomen, and crushes on knights. You won't have to worry your pretty little head about anything more than what pretty dress you'll wear to a party, your parents will take care of everything. Of course, you won't have much freedom and your parents and tutors will work to mold you into a pretty princess, but if you keep your will strong you can probably rise above the brainwashing. Special: If you have Charm School 2 gain a point. If you have Charm School 3 gain a second point. (3) Twelve year olds are still pretty old, how about we bring you down to eight? You'll have just enough time after returning to adjust before you start to blossom as a woman, and you will have no freedom whatsoever. Nobody will take you seriously in the slightest for a while, but you can enjoy life free of any worries in your new world of frills and bows. However, you can expect intense attempts to remould you into the image of the perfect princess, at least until you become old enough that your parents accept that masculinity isn't just a phase. That is, if you last that long without becoming an empty-headed bit of fluff in truth. Special: If you have Charm School 2 gain a point. If you have Charm School 3 gain a second point. 7. Charm School (1) Your otherworldly education has left you woefully unprepared for the challenges of the real world. A noble is expected to be able to manage an estate, maintain the loyalty of their vassals, gracefully work their way through endless amounts of ettiqutte, lead armies to war, and more. Luckily you were literate and capable of some mathematics in your old life so you're not starting from scratch! To get you caught up, your new parents will be sending you to a school for the nobility for a few years. Don't worry if you don't get good grades: everyone knows that the networking is the important part. And you should not feel self-concious that you will be the oldest one there: you are royalty, the rules don't apply to you. To make things easier for you, your parents have already signed you up for a number of electives: make sure to try your best in ballet! (2) The good news is that your parents will no longer be choosing electives for you. The bad news is the reason they no longer feel the need. Where before the school offered a number of classes that were directed primarily at one gender, now it is heavily gender segregated. Some general classes, like mathematics or history, will still be mixed, but aside from those you will only be taking classes that will turn you into the perfect noblewoman. And for those classes you will actually be expected to get good grades. You'll look so adorable in your school uniform! Special: If you have Second Childhood 2 gain a point. If you have Second Childhood 3 gain a second point. (3) Your parents see that you're going to need a firmer touch. You will no longer be sent to a normal school, but instead a finishing school for young ladies. This school specializes in making young ladies into graceful flowers of the court, no matter what their thoughts on the matter were going in. You can feel free to struggle: some graduates were true hellions when they entered, and now they have panic attacks if they get mud on their dresses. Once you enter the only time you will see a man is at formal dances. You will be surrounded by other girls being molded in the same way you are. And if you step out of line, you can expect them to snitch on you in the hope of recieving a reprieve. You will barely have a handful of moments to be yourself once you pass through the gate. Special: If you have Second Childhood 2 gain a point. If you have Second Childhood 3 gain a second point. 8. Distressed Damsel (1) You might be cursed - well double cursed. You seem to be a magnet for trouble. Your carriage gets attacked by bandits, cultists want to sacrifice you, dark lords want to marry you... If there is trouble in the kingdom that can come to your door, it will. Luckily, you live in a castle now, so as long as you remain surrounded by guards, nothing will happen to you. And not to worry, the magic of the curse will ensure that no matter what, you'll come back home safe and mostly unmolested... eventually. As a bonus, if these threats would make keeping up with another aspect of the Pretty Princess Curse impossible, that requirement will be reduced or voided until you have the time or resources. Attempting to take advantage of this will end badly for you. (2) Threats against you are uncannily likely to succeed, or almost succeed. However, various heroic types tend to either save you at the last moment, or will turn up to rescue you from whatever dungeon, enslavement, or marriage ceremony you happen to be in. On the bright side, you'll be able to go on all sorts of adventures. Taken by a cult to bring some demon into the world, kidnapped by a foreign king as his trophy slave, 'eloped with' by some dread lord with spiky armor who wants a wife, and of course the classic dragon. Make sure you're appropriately grateful to whatever adventuerers rescue you, or they might leave you to rot the next time around. (3) Your virtue and life are no longer entirely safe. While you are still highly unlikely to die in any given dangerous event, there is a chance that one of them will eventually do you in. As for your virtue... before, your enemies would be incredibly gentlemanly; even if you were enslaved and put in a bikini, at most you would be left lying at their feet as a trophy. Now, they will almost certainly molest you, and might fully despoil you before the heroes arrive. Every time you get kidnapped, you'll be left wondering if this is the time that will do you in, and you will likely end up highly traumatized from the experiences. Hopefully a dashing hero can heal your wounded soul. 9. Ladies in Waiting (1) We can't have you hanging around with men unchaperoned, they might make impinge upon your innocence. To ensure that you maintain propiety the curse will cause all men to view you as a silly, frivolous woman, no matter what you actually do or say. This effect is not absolute, it can be broken with extended effort or extreme circumstances. Women are exempt from this effect, as are men when the relationship is primarily romantic. (2) Some women can be bad influences as well. Now, you can expect the effect to extend to women who do not act as proper noblewomen. It's perfectly fine if they're competent and intelligent, they can even be warriors. But, they will act with decorum, and dress properly whenever the situation does not call for them to to wear more practical clothes. (3) Due to your unfortunate circumstances, you require more forceful handling. All but the most frivolous, feminine noblewomen will see you as one of those frivolous noblewomen. If you want any companionship at all, look forward to endless tea parties and giggly conversations about what knight is the cutest or the latest fashions. Don't worry about the curse being so restrictive that it is impossible for you to find friendship; as a princess any noblewomen in the kingdom would be happy to be your friend. You'll be one of them in no time! 10. (Curse) Conspicuous Consumer (1) You have a voice in your head, the sort of girly princess that you would have been. Don't worry, she mostly stays quiet so long as she gets what she wants. And what she wants is to fairly regularly get new stuff. You don't have to actually wear or use any of it, but once or twice a week you need to buy a ballgown, carriage, or whatever other frippery she decided she can't live without or put up with her incessantly whining in your ear. (2) The voice is no longer sated with mere regular shopping, she needs the most and best of everything. You'll need to spend a considerable portion of whatever funds you have available on sating her, whether that is a small allowance (for royalty) or the entirety of your kingdom's funds. You should avoid being put in charge of any finances, or you'll have to choose between paying your staff or dealing with her endless complaints. (3) She can no longer be sated. Even if you spent every coin in the treasury on a wardrobe the size of a village, all full of ballgowns, she'll start talking about how she needs a new pair of shoes an hour later. Don't worry though, there is a way out. If she thinks that you're doing your best to get her what she wants she'll limit herself to sulking in the back of your mind. And to her doing your best means throwing a tantrum. Expect to lay on the ground flailing your hands and fists, crying about how unfair it is that you can't have a seventh prized mare if you want a moment's peace. 10. (Blessing) Golden Touch (1) You don't actually turn things into gold, but you do have what amounts to a calculator and spreadsheet in your head. If you end up in control of any sort of budget, with a bit of work you can be an amazing manager and accountant. This may sound small, but you will make your kingdom more wealthy than it would otherwise be if you get into a position to take advange of it. (2) You have a sixth sense for when you're being ripped off. This applies just as much to both a tailor trying to overcharge you for a gown, and a lesser noble trying to evade their taxes. This is nothing you can put into words, but if you follow your instincts you will rarely have to worry about losing money. If you place yourself so that you can take advantage of it your kingdom will save a considerable amount of money. (3) Your sixth sense now extends to finding untapped potential, not just not being ripped off. You'll find yourself hearing about new crops and growth conditions in regions, or trade routes, or just hiring people who are good at their jobs. If you get into a position to take advantage of it your kingdom can go from a tiny patch of swamp to a global merchant powerhouse over a single lifetime. 11. (Curse) Betrothed (1) The highest purpose any woman has is to have a husband and children, and this is if anything more the case for noblewomen. You serve a vital role in sealing alliances and deals with either your father's vassals or other kingdoms. Objecting to this won't actually do anything; at most you can expect some guards and locks to stop you from running away. But not to worry, your father wants you to be happy. He will arrange for a number of eligible young bachelors* to court you for your hand. You'll have to eventually choose one, but you will get to choose. If you're lucky with your choice and your other curses, he may still allow you to live as a man after marriage! *All bachelors will have compatibles genitals with your own, such that you will be able to have children with any of them. This applies to all levels of this option. (2) A woman choosing her own husband is such a modern, liberal idea. In this kingdom we care about tradition! Your new father will arrange for a suitor that he thinks you will like for you to begin courting. If things truly don't work out you can beg him to break things off, but if you're too obstinant or picky he may force you to go through with things anyways. (3) Your purpose is to seal an alliance, and that matters far more than any modern notions of choosing a spouse. Your father will select a fertile lord or heir for you to marry, but other than that his only concern is what your husband can offer him for your hand. They might be an ancient lord older than your father, they might have very strong ideas of a woman's role, they might get off on something that hurts or disgusts you. They might be a perfect gentleman and your own age! Do your best to help your father sell you and hope that things end up well. 11. (Blessing) Holy Matrimony (1) Your father just wants you to be happy, whether that means that you marry a husband or a wife.* A large number of the eligible nobles of the kingdom will soon arrive at the castle to vie for your hand. With a bit of work to sort them out, you can end up with the perfect partner for the rest of your life. Depending on how things shake out, they might even marry into the royal family, allowing you to become the next Queen! *All suitors will have compatible genitals with you, such that you can have children with them, no matter their outward gender presentation. This applies to all level of this option. (2) Remember that Daddy loves you. He will hear what you look for in a suitor and arrange a courting with someone who fits what you want. You'll still have to work to make any relationship work, and this isn't quite a 'build a waifu' option, but the spell will tend to make things work out. No matter how horrific you think the other aspects of the curse are, with a loving partner everything will seem better. (3) With this things can get a little more exotic. You can end up with an elf or a laima from their distant realms. You might end up with a spouse that doesn't mind if you have a discreet relationship with a lady-in- -waiting or a maid. You can even end up with a spouse with incompatible genitals: if you have a vagina you can marry a woman, or you can marry a man if you have a dick. 12. (Curse) Brain Smoothing (1) It's not becoming for a woman who thinks that she knows better than the men around her. Especially if she starts speaking up, correcting them, offering her own opinions. To help you resist this temptation, when you think hard about unprincessy topics you'll develop a headache. Don't worry though, it's not as bad as all that! So long as you avoid heavy math or memorizing all the dates of historical battles you'll be fine, and you can even manage a few bursts of mental activity with relatively bearable pain. (2) The headaches increase in intensity more quickly, and at far more trivial things. If you attempt to meet with a council and discuss the affairs of the kingdom, you'd better make it move incredibly quickly or you'll spend the rest of the day crying in a dark room with a cloth over your head. But you can mitigate this: if you don't have any idea what's going on, you won't have to deal with the headaches. If you want a comfortable life, you'll need to cultivate your ignorance until you can only respond to questions of tarrifs or taxes with a confused look. (3) The headaches increase in intensity, and what it takes to cause them decreases once more. If you read anything more complex than a letter, or do any math more complicated than the most basic problems, you'll be struck down for the rest of the day before too long. And even the least math, reading, and writing will cause a growing headache over time. You don't need to worry about having this happen by accident: if you start trying to do something too complex you will feel a sharp pain. Before you know it your brain will naturally resist thinking overly complex thoughts. 12. (Blessing) Luminary (1) A Princess is one of the most powerful figures in the kingdom, and must lead it with knowledge and wisdom. You will find yourself thinking more quickly and recalling facts more easily. This does not actually improve your ability to reason through problems, but you will seem more intelligent to everyone around you. You may not throw your kingdom through years of scientific development, but you will be a better leader. (2) Your memory becomes nearly photographic, and extends back before you picked this option. This may not sound like much, but many things that you took for granted in your old world don't exist in your new one. This option lets you take things that you currently vaguely remember from history classes and apply them. You won't be starting an industrial revolution, but three-field rotation, seed drills, and double-entry bookkeeping are now within your grasp. Your people will thank you for it. (3) Your subconciousness will offer up premonitions, picking through information that you didn't conciously notice at the time. You'll find yourself noticing plots against you, opportunities that you might have missed, and new aspects of science or magic that you would never have seen. Your name will go down in history as one of the greatest minds of your new world. 13. (Curse) Purity (1) Your old world has gone through years and decades of losening sexual mores. Some women walk around wearing only their underthings when they want to go swimming! How scandalous! To make matters worse, you were hidden as a man, leaving you without any of a woman's sense of modesty! Unfortunately the curse cannot simply rewire your mind, but that does not mean that we can leave you a crude, lewd, scarlet woman! Should you allow yourself to be seen in an immodest state you will feel a deep, unnatural sense of embarassment. You'll be able to move past it far more easily than a natural emotion, especially if you react to your immodesty in an appropriate fashion, but should you feel it too often and too deeply you will find it becoming a natural part of you instead of something imposed from the outside. Make sure to keep your chest covered and your unmentionables under your clothes, and you'll be fine! (2) It is not merely women's clothing choices that have gone awry in your old world, but their virtue in its entirety! Why, in some places it is considered perfectly acceptable for a woman to lay with a half dozen men or more before marriage! And as a former man, you will have even less understanding of the importance of retaining your virtue! To help you correct yourself, whenever you see, hear, or even attempt to think about anything overly lewd, you will feel a deep sense of shame and embarassment. To provide an idea of how this would work, a detailed fantasy would trigger this, as would viewing intercourse or speaking of it save in euphemism. With a partner, anything more extreme than a chaste kiss on the lips will have the same result. However, as part of your purpose in life is to bear children, this can be counterproductive. As such, when dealing with approved suitors for your hand the shame and embarassment will be tinged with an unnatural arousal. Once you marry, any emotions save arousal will fade when it comes to bedroom activities with your husband. (3) Good girls don't do that! Any sexual thoughts at all will trigger a minor amount of the unnatural emotions, and should you attempt to relieve yourself of them it will occur in full force. You can expect your next release to occur after your wedding vows, and not a moment sooner! Additionally, you are likely unaware of how men react when a pretty girl pays attention to him, and you could unintentionally put your chastity in jeoprady in that manner. As such, any vaguely romantic, (or even platonic, should one party have feelings for the other) touching can trigger the compulsions. This will be greatly lessened if the touching occurs in a situation where it is socially prescribed, such being held in a ballroom dance, or holding hands on a chaperoned walk through a garden 13. (Blessing) Divine Grace (1) It is said that the royal bloodlines are blessed by the gods, and in your case it is the truth. You can perform miracles of healing: curing the sick giving sight to the blind, and letting cripples walk. People will love you for this, and you may even be requested to go to the battlefield in order to tend to the wounded soldiery. With practice, you can even raise the recently dead. Some legends claim that resurrection of even skeletons is possible, but it has not been heard of in centuries at least. (2) Your blessing expands in both power and scope. In addition to your healing becoming more powerful more quickly, you gain the ability to protect others. You can form shields against projectiles or swords or magics, and ward buildings from entry by those who you forbid. Perhaps someday you can even protect entire cities. In any case you find that you have miraculous powers of protection, like a holy maiden out of stories. (3) Your powers expand once more. Now, you can even injure others with your miracles. While it is no substitute for weapons and armor, against unholy monstrosities it proves its worth, injuring the greatest and reducing weaker beings to ash in seconds. You will have much less to fear from the forces of darkness, and can even be a potent strategic force against those beings. 14. (Curse) Pea Princess (1) Physical might is incredibly important to a peasant. Luckily you are no peasant, so we can remove all the ravages that a deprived life outside the palace has left you. Your muscles will dwindle to those of a girl who has never needed to lift anything heavier than a croquet mallet, and your skin will pale as if it has never seen the sun save through a parasol. You will need to rely on others to do any heavy lifting and carriages or horses to move any great distances, but as a princess you will have servants to spare. (2) Your body will be fully healed to a that has never known pain or hardship. It will become smooth and unblemished, the sort of thing that noblewomen spend ungodly amounts of money in attempts to reach. Unfortunately, this will leave your body sensitive, as it has never experienced any hardship before. Even a paper cut will leave your eyes watering, and you can expect to cry if you so much as bump your shin on a table. You will be fine in the castle for the most part, with an entire army of servants to do menial work and guards to protect you from any danger. (3) Have you ever read the story of the Princess and the Pea? A story where a princess is so sensitive that a single lump in her bed leaves her sore and unable to have a good night's sleep? Well that story is your new reality. The world is too harsh for a being like you, and if you don't cover yourself in the finest, smoothest silks or satins, the fluffiest beds, and rare, exotic cosmetics, it will wear you down to nothing. Slumming it is now entirely impossible, and even with all the resources of the royal family you'll have to make sure that everything is just perfect. You'll probably come off as demanding, but that's better than being flayed by a ballgown that's insufficiently silky. 14. (Blessing) Vital Force (1) The royal family is an embodiment of the nation. Their successes are the kingdom's successes, and the kingdom's failures their failures. It's only fair that the kingdom give something back in return. Your subjects will tithe you a tiny, infinitesimal portion of their vitality, making you much more robust. You will never suffer from colds or spoiled food, and you will find yourself with the sort of energy that makes people wake up and run for miles. Only the most dangerous diseases or poisons even have a chance of killing you. (2) While by no means standard, there is a tradition of legends about warrior princesses. Moved by the suffering of their people, they take up arms and fight, better than most men. Now you too have this potential. You do not grow muscles in excess of what you previously had, but nonetheless you have the sort of strength normally seen in massive, bulky men. While this does not grant you any martial skill or responsiblity, if you choose to take up arms you have the potential to be very good at it. (3) You are no longer bound by the human form. With training you can throw horses and tear open gates, or bounce spears off your chest, like the legendary demigods of old. You can move as fast as lightning, and shatter steel. Additionally, you are now capable of becoming muscular to a greater degree, becoming like the stories of the amazons. 15. (Curse) Harrying Household (1) You once were lost but now you're found, and your family is pleased as punch! It was far less time for them than it was for you, but they missed you all the same. Unfotunately, it's not really you that they missed; it's the idea of the lost princess. Your parents and siblings will find it nearly impossible to recognize that you're not going to become a sort of hyperfeminine princess overnight. Your sisters will consantly try to discuss dresses and gossip with you over tea parties or embroidery. Your brothers will do their utmost to protect you from the predations of men or the dangers of the world, helping you whenever they can. And your parents will attempt to teach you to be the daughter that they always missed. If you fight them on this they won't give up, but it will break their hearts. Won't you just try to go along with them? (2) Your family misses the daughter that you never got a chance to become, but are capable of recognizing that you are not her. This is not better for you: they are now obsessed with turning you into the sort of person that you would have been. Your sisters will do their utmost to get you to join them in whatever exceedingly feminine activity they have planned for the day, and if you aren't careful in your refusals they will go to your new parents in order to make you join them. You will constantly find your new brothers 'coincidentally' hanging around you, in the perfect position to protect you and help you with tasks, even ones that you could easily manage yourself. And your parents will be quite controlling. Expect to need constant arguments to get them to allow you to do any masculine activities, and for your wardrobe to be replaced and bedroom redecorated overnight at least once. (3) Your family loves you, but they see you taking the place of the daugher that they never got to raise and they hate you for that, just a little bit. They try to hide it, but they see all the ways that you are not her and it grates at them constantly. They will no longer take no for an answer in their attempts to reshape you, and you can expect punishment if you step out of line. You may be confined to a tower with only bread and water, or you may be subject to some horrible, temporary curse as discipline. even if you try your hardest they will keep seeing things wrong with you. If you're lucky they'll just bully and belittle you over your failures. If you're unlucky you may face some disproportionate punishment. 15. (Blessing) Beloved Bloodline (1) You may have spent your entire life separated from them but your family loves you nonetheless. They will do their utmost to support you and help you adjust to your new life. Your sisters will help you deal with courtly politics and fashion, and your brothers will be glad to protect you, though they will respect any boundaries you set. They love you, and so long as nothing horrific happens they will love and support you for the rest of your lives. (2) Your family is willing to accept that you break the mold in some ways. They will support you and allow you to get training in unwomanly hobbies or professions, so long as you do not embarass them and are able to act as you should on formal occasions. If this would conflict with another card such as Second Childhood or Charm School, your family is instead willing to allow you some freedom earlier than those cards would suggest, and once the duration of those cards completes this card will take full effect. (3) In your world the idea that being royalty makes you a step above the rest of humanity is just old propaganda, but here you can't help but think there might be some ring of truth. Every other member of your family is scarily competent in some field or another, from traditional rulership or battle to magic and natural philosophy. Any of them would be happy to tutor you in their skills, and you can easily recieve a world class education just from listening to them talk. And more broadly, having competent royalty is its own reward. 16 (Curse) Sleep of Reason (1) Your kingdom's level of technological advancement is a bit vague, but by default it is a place where magic and wealth allow the upper crust to live lives that would be considered luxurious even by the standards of your old world, with some parallels to Europe between the 1400s and 1700s. This is no longer the case. Due to the curse interacting oddly with the spell that hid you in your old world, you are summoned back to a world that is akin to the middle ages. Technology is worse, but more importantly to you the food is less pleasant, people bathe less, and worse plumbing practices leave things stinking and diseases spreading. Since you're royalty you're sheltered from the worst of this, but your life will be less pleasant. (2) The world regresses further, to the depths of the European dark ages. In addition to the quality of, well, everything degenerating more, you will now need to do a fair amount of work every day. It's nothing too onerous, but you will be expected to take a centeral roll in the management of the household and spend a great deal of time embroidering the various clothes and banners. Hopefully you're handy with a needle and thread, but if not, you can learn. (3) Have you ever read Conan the Barbarian? Muscle-bound barbarians running around, fighting monsters or sorcerers and rescuing tribal princesses that seem to solely wear fur bikinis? Well now you're living in a world much like it, as one of those fur bikini-wearing princesses. Your kingdom is likely a great deal smaller, and you can expect to do a great deal of the world that would have been done by servants, including cooking and cleaning. But there will be a great many men with glistening muscles to sweep you off your feet and cary you away, whether you want them to or not. 16. (Blessing) Beacon of Progress (1) Due to an odd interaction between the spell that hid you in your old world and the curse, your are summoned to a world that's far more advanced than the vague Late-Middle-Ages-to-Enlightenment Europe that you expected. Your kingdom is instead vaguely in the Victorian era, technologically speaking. Perhaps it's the same advancements made in our world, or perhaps it is entirely fueled by magic, or perhaps it is more steampunk. Whatever the details, travel is easy for you, and even the most exotic things can be acquired for the royal family, so you won't have to miss tropical fruit! (2) The technology of the kingdom advances further still, allowing all the advancements of the modern world. Flight, communication over vast distances, and all sorts of advancements in sanitation and food are commonplace in your kingdom. This may or may not be due to actual technology; it may be widespread magic, magitech, or more that is improving the standards of living. Additionally, the social changes that resulted in the decline of aristocratic monarchies will not be present in the new world, so your wealth and power are not at risk. (3) Despite taking place in the future, science fiction seems to love monarchies. Whether it rules multiple systems, a single world, or something stranger, your kingdom is both incredibly advanced and still has all the trappings of a monarchy. These advancements might be through technology, magic, psychic powers, or something stranger still, but whatever the case may be you will have access to luxuries that your old world could only dream of. 17-20 - Draw a Rare Card 1. Patriarchal (1) While your kingdom always has some ideas about the place of women and their place in the world, it was always at most the sort of sexism that a determined, competent noblewoman could buck if she wanted to. That is no longer the case. Your kingdom now has restrictive requirements for women, and the curse makes everyone know that they apply to you. If you defy these requirements you will be considered to be a social pariah at absolute best. At worst your family could face rebellions because of your loose morals. At the minimum you are expected to speak only when spoken to in the presence of men, and to defer to men in general and your family or spouse in particular. Luckily you are not required to follow the full feminine dress code, but you will be expected to maintain your modesty. 2. Popular (1) The royal family is an icon for the entire kingdom. They hold the attention of the populace, and if they patronize a particular store it can make the fortune of that entire buisiness. And now they look to you as a vision of feminine perfection. You have fans. Little girls will dress like you, and gangs of peasants proclaiming you to be best girl will fight with those who favor other members of the royal family. Be careful! Such scrutiny can make scandals hit all the harder, and disappointed fans can be the most savage creatures in existence. Be careful of stalkers! 3. Renamed (1) You seem to be struggling about all this, and it's understandable! This is a difficult transition. In order to help you adjust the curse will magically alter your identity. Whenever you try to say your name you will say the name that your parents gave you instead, and if you try to state your gender it will come out as the feminine equivalent. "My name is Jane and I'm a girl! No, a woman!" That sort of thing. And your parents had a certain taste in names; if you're lucky you'll end up with something feminine but regal, like Victoria, Elizabeth, or Anastasia. If you're unlucky, Theophania, Tiffany for short. 4. Cheerful (1) You may not like the whole 'being torn from reality and remade by magic' thing, but you can't complain. Literally. If you try to express any dissatisfaction with your new circumstances the curse will twist your words to overwhelming approval. If you try to complain about how restricting your poofy ballgowns are, you'll find yourself gushing about how wonderful they are instead. This also applies to your body language, the written word, and any other communication method imaginable. If you keep things relatively neutral you can still get most messages accross, so you should probably get used to saying negative things in the most circuitous ways possible. 5. Gothic Romance (1) Perhaps it is because of some ancient sin commited by your forebearers. Perhaps your your father had explorers loot some far-off land, bringing back accursed gold. Whatever the reason, your kingdom is dark, dreary, and corrupt. The weather seems to have two settings: fog, drizzle, and storm. The castles are oversized, grey, and drafty. If someone is not sullen and depressed they're likely some form of depraved hedonist. And everyone has secrets. You can expect to wear a lot of black, with black lace accents, and spend your time writing depressing poetry. 6. Religious Fundament (1) The kingdom has a strong strain of religious fanaticism running through it. You can expect to spend many days and nights in prayer services or quiet contemplation, and not partaking is not an option. Should you have any thoughts about the existence of gods or prior religious convictions, it's best to keep them quiet. That is, if you value your life. There are some religious commandments or ceremonies that you may find odd. It doesn't matter if it's animal sacrifice or wearing a silly hat, you're going to do them, enthusiastically, and you're 4 going to keep anything less than total religious devotion deep inside of you. 7. Sweet Tooth (1) You are now eternally hungry, not to the point of starvation, but as if you haven't eaten for the better part of a day. While you won't suffer any negative effects from this hunger so long as you eat normally, it will be deeply uncomfortable for your every waking moment. This hunger can only be satisfied by the richest, fattiest foods in general and decadent desserts in particular. And even these will only sate it at a lowered pace. If you don't practice self-control you'll find yourself devouring entire multi-**** cakes in single sittings. You grow fat slightly slower than you would have, but that's meaningless if you attempt to fully sate yourself on a regular basis. Luckily, the curse will cause you to primarily gain weight in your chest, butt, and thighs, letting you turn yourself into a plush princess with cartoonish curves, should you so desire. 8. Hair Care (1) Your hair is long, down to your butt at the least. It will require extensive amounts of care, with rare oils and elaborate styles, or at best it will look unkempt. Should you attempt to cut it to a more reasonable size, it will rapidly regrow to an even longer state. It's a little sentient, and until you make ammends it won't allow it to be cut back to even merely being extremely long. If you cut it too often, you'll end up with hair trailing behind you after you exit a room! And if you refuse to care for it, it will grow and start to get in your way. It will be little things at first, but if you let it go for too long you'll start waking up with hair strangling you in your sleep. 9. Villainous Villainess (1) The princess is at the top of the social ladder, and you're going to make sure that everyone knows it. When you are in social situations you will find your intentions turning sour and your actions being misconstrued, especially around women near you in age and beauty. You will find yourself stumbling into them, and when you try to appologize you will find yourself insulting and demeaning them instead. Any words will turn into veiled insults, even if all you were trying to say was 'please pass the butter.' You can try to convince people that you're not actually a cruel bully, but they'll never believe you. Better hope that you don't meet a bad end! 10. Ambassador (1) An interesting quirk in the magic used to hide you is that it allows your new world to make contact with your old world. And who better to be an ambassador than a former native? You will be at the forefront of contact with Earth, and will even be able to see your friends and family again! But since a single slip could mean war, a spell will be placed on you to ensure that you don't mess everything up. When you are in your old world or around anyone from it, you will be compelled to claim that you are incredibly happy, that you love your new life and that you love your new family, convincingly. If you try to say anything else your words will be changed and your body puppeted with appropriate motions. So make things easy on yourself and just play along. 11. Checkmate Feminists (1) In your old world the sexes were, for the most part, equal. A strong woman could beat up an above average man, and any differences in intellect can be explained as societal issues. In your new world this is not the case. An uneducated, malnourished peasant man would be considered to be above average in comparison to a man from your old world, and With proper education and food, an average man can demolish olimpic athletes and chess masters. In turn, the greatest men are superhuman. Women aren't left out either; while they aren't any more mentally powerful, they are as tall and as strong as old world men. Due to the nature of the spell you will not see any improvements, and if you persist in insisting that you're a man you will be seen as almost crippled and mentally deficient. 12. Songbird (1) Oh dear, it seems that the spell has caught on some princessy ideal from your old world. Something about a mouse house? In any case, you will find yourself unconciously humming, whistling, and singing when your voice is not otherwise occupied. In moments of strong emotion, you will burst into amazing, original, off-the-cuff songs about whatever situation you happen to be in. Don't worry about seeming touched in the head; you will find yourself with considerable natural musical talent, and your random acts of music will be treated as a strange personality quirk. 13. Divine Patron - Mistress of Love and Beauty (1) The circumstances of your arrival has brought you to the attention of the divine forces above the world. In particular, the Goddess of Love has taken an interest in your life. As a princess freely loving as your heart demands would go poorly, so she is altering her demands to your situation. You will be required to put signifigant effort into making yourself look beautiful each and every day. Beautiful doesn't necessarily mean entirely feminine, but it cannot mean masculine. Clothes, makeup, hair care, even diet and excercise, you will need to master them at all. If the goddess thinks you are doing well, she will offer additional blessings to your beauty and love life, ranging from divinely beautiful clothes to magical powers. If you fail to do your utmost, she will curse you instead. Don't make her do that. Special: You may take this card as a Blessing, gaining the goddess's favor without being required to devote your life to her. 14. Divine Patron - Matron of Marriage and Childbirth (1) The circumstances of your arrival has brought you to the attention of the divine forces above the world. In particular, the Goddess of Marriage and Childbirth has taken an interest in your life. As a princess, simply marrying you to whoever she feels is best would go poorly, so she is adapting to your situation. You will be expected to take an active role in attempting to find a spouse. Once you do marry, you will be required to work to support your spouse in every way they need. You will work to ensure their comfort, the advancement of their political aims, and the continuation of their bloodline. If you work to the best of your ability for the advancement of your spouse, the goddess will help the prosperity of your family, including increased fertility, ease of childbirth, and perhaps even magical powers. If you fail her, she will curse you as only a goddess of family can. Special: You may take this card as a Blessing, gaining the goddess's favor without being required to devote your life to her. 15. Divine Patron - Lady of Wisdom and Crafts (1) The circumstances of your arrival has brought you to the attention of the divine forces above the world. In particular, the Goddess of Wisdom, Crafts, and War has taken an interest in your life. Sending you off as a divinely-empowered warrior wouldn't be great for a princess, so she will tailor her requirements to you. You will be expected to take up properly feminine crafts, such as embroidery, and spend signifigant effort to improve at them. Before you know it you'll be embroidering your own ballgowns and underthings, looking ever so adorable hunched over fabric. If you satisfy the goddess, she will bless you with great skill, materials, and perhaps even magic. If you fail her, she will curse you as only the goddess of creativity can. Special: You may take this card as a Blessing, gaining the goddess's favor without being required to devote your life to her. 16. Divine Patron - Queen of Hearth and Home (1) The circumstances of your arrival has brought you to the attention of the divine forces above the world. In particular, the Goddess of Hearth and Home has taken an interest in your life. Unfortunately she cannot have you spend all your time tending to your home as a good little housewife, as that would conflict with your position as a princess. However, she will require you to do your utmost to ensure the comfort of all guests, as well as taking up cooking and baking and putting signifigant effort into mastering those skills. You'll be spending your days slaving over hot stoves and ovens, and when you feed your family the fruits of your labors you will looklike the perfect wife. If she comes to like you she will bless your cooking and your home, and perhaps even offer magical powers. If she believes you aren't giving it your all, she will curse you in a way that only a goddess of food can. Special: You may take this card as a Blessing, gaining the goddess's favor without being required to devote your life to her. 17. Divine Patron - Empress of Law and Nobility (1) The circumstances of your arrival has brought you to the attention of the divine forces above the world. In particular, the Goddess of Law and Nobility has taken an interest in your life, as you are in the perfect position to benefit her. All you have to do is do your utmost to reinforce the existing social order with all your actions, easy enough! Discipline and correct your servants whenever they fail to achieve perfection, and never, ever let your lessers think that they are even close to your equals. You may have silly ideas about equality floating around that pretty little head of yours, but you'll have a much more pleasant time if you leave them back in your old world. If the goddess enjoys your actions she will bless you, and reinforce the your family's place even further. Disappoint her, and you will see exactly how far you can fall. Special: You may take this card as a Blessing, gaining the goddess's favor without being required to devote your life to her. 18. Divine "Patron" - The King of All, The Patriarch (1) The circumstances of your arrival has brought you to the attention of the divine forces above the world. In particular, the King of the Gods sees that you have the potential to disrupt his society in unnatural, unintended ways, and this he cannot allow. He places a Geass on you: honor and obey your father, and in the future your husband, in all things. It is simple but complete; If they command you to drive a dagger into your heart, you will do it or the god will make you wish that you did. The Divine King is no idiot; if you try to weasel out of your duties through misinterpreting statements, he will consider that perhaps an even greater violation. Should you serve eagerly and well, he will bless the man that holds command over you with his divine grace. You need not worry your pretty little head over the specifics, but know that a happy, wealthy, powerful husband will likely be less demanding. Special: You may take this card as a Blessing, blessing your father and future spouse without being required to obey their every order. 19. Kingdom Theme - Asian (1) The interaction between the Curse and the dimensional travel that brought you home is complex, and any explanation would be too confusing for a cute little princess like you to follow. Put simply, instead of being summoned to a pseudo-European kingdom, you are brought to a pseudo-Asian kingdom. You spent enough time entertaining your perversions to Eastern animation, now it's time to be the Asian beauty. And don't think that this is a dream come true: while you may like the asthetics, there are some major cultural differences. Most notably, you will be expected to maintain a serene poker face for the rest of your life, lest you massively breach propiety. Special: You may take this card as a blessing, gaining the Asian theme without the poker face requirement. Special: You may only have one Kingdom Theme at a time, so you will only gain the negative aspect from future ones. 20. Kingdom Theme - Indian (1) The interaction between the Curse and the dimensional travel that brought you home is complex, and any explanation would be too confusing for a cute little princess like you to follow. Put simply, instead of being summoned to a pseudo-European kingdom, you are brought to a pseudo-Indian kingdom. You will find yourself as an Indian beauty in a sari, and you'll probably be able to ride elephants around. Not to mention, the food is great if you like spices. However, all is not perfect in your new world: In your kingdom when a women's husband dies they are thrown on his funeral pyre. But the gods have taken mercy on you! So long as you maintain a base level of piety, with regular offerings and prayers, your husband will not die unexpectedly. And if your husband is in a dangerous situation, such as if he goes to war or contracts an illness, you can ensure his continued survival by drastically increasing your displays of piety, with fasting and endless prayer. Until he returns to safety, it will be like you are right there with him! Special: You may take this card as a blessing, gaining the Indian theme without the widow burning requirement. Special: You may only have one Kingdom Theme at a time, so you will only gain the negative aspect from future ones. 21. Kingdom Theme - Mesoamerica (1) The interaction between the Curse and the dimensional travel that brought you home is complex, and any explanation would be too confusing for a cute little princess like you to follow. Put simply, instead of being summoned to a pseudo-European kingdom, you are brought to a pseudo-Mesoamerican kingdom. You will surely come to love the colorful clothes, and muscled men wearing minimal amounts of said clothing. However, there are certain religious obligations that come with your new position. Don't fear, you will not be required to take part in human sacrifice! Cleaning is very important, symbolically, to your new people, and you will find yourself required to regularly clean large portions of your palace as if you were a lowly maid. But through this the demons of dirt and disorder are banished, so grab a broom and hop to it! Special: You may take this card as a blessing, gaining the Mesoamerican theme without the cleaning requirement. Special: You may only have one Kingdom Theme at a time, so you will only gain the negative aspect from future ones. 22. Kingdom Theme - Egyptian (1) The interaction between the Curse and the dimensional travel that brought you home is complex, and any explanation would be too confusing for a cute little princess like you to follow. Put simply, instead of being summoned to a pseudo-European kingdom, you are brought to a pseudo-Egyptian kingdom. You will love exploring the cradle of civilization, seeing shining pyramids and regal sphinxes, and you will soon become a deft hand at applying khol. However, there is a bit of a downside to your new culture: to maintain the divine bloodline of the Pharaohs, you will be required to marry your new brother and bear his incestuous babies. Look, the harms of ****** are somewhat overblown, your babies will be fine... probably. Special: You may take this card as a blessing, gaining the Egyptian theme without the ****** requirement. Special: You may only have one Kingdom Theme at a time, so you will only gain the negative aspect from future ones. 23. Kingdom Theme - Middle Eastern (1) The interaction between the Curse and the dimensional travel that brought you home is complex, and any explanation would be too confusing for a cute little princess like you to follow. Put simply, instead of being summoned to a pseudo-European kingdom, you are brought to a pseudo-Middle Eastern kingdom. You will surely come to love prancing around looking like an Arabic beauty and dressed like a belly dancer. You will certainly enjoy living in one of the great trade hubs of the world giving you access to learning and luxury like you've never witnessed. However, there is one aspect of your new culture that you might find issue with: noblemen are expected to have a number of concubines. When your marry a man, you will find yourself living in his harem, surrounded by concubines who could just as easily bear him a legal heir. You will have to keep his attentions on you, or you will find yourself the bottom of the pecking order despite alledgedly being his wife. Special: You may take this card as a blessing, gaining the Middle Eastern theme without the harem requirement. Special: You may only have one Kingdom Theme at a time, so you will only gain the negative aspect from future ones. 24. Queensguard (1) The Queensguard are an important institution of your new kingdom, an order of warrior women devoted to protecting royal women - including you. They are to a woman tall and physically fit, each the equal of any man. They will follow you around, never giving you a moment's privacy, but no princess could ask for better guardians of her life and virtue. Taken as a curse the Queensguard will be especially strident at protecting your virtue, and will react badly to any idea of an affair with their charges. Taken as a blessing they will be willing to take direction from you, and the institution is known for a certain amount of romantic entanglement between protectors and charges. 25. Inhuman Princess (1) The kingdom you have been summoned back to isn't exactly... human. They're close though! They're about the same size, and at most have a tail in terms of additional limbs. You might be a Dwarf, an Elf, or even some sort of angel or devil-blooded. You may take this as a Blessing to increase the distance between your new race and humanity, granting some combination of physical and magical abilities. However, these abilities will require effort and training before they become anything truly impressive. 26. Monstrous Princess (1) The populace of your new kingdom isn't even close to being human. They will either have some sort of non-standard number of limbs, or some sort of extreme restrictions compared to standard humanity. You might be a centaur, a laima, or drider. A vampire or a succubus, a fairy or a giant. You gain appropriate physical and magical abilities, but you may need to relearn how to walk, or how to deal with your new instincts. You may take this as a Blessing in order to greatly increase the rate that you adapt to your new body. 27. Re:Maid (1) The retrieval spell got a bit... confused, and grabbed one of your close friends or family members as well. Unfortunately for them, the spell helping you adjust is also helping them adjust, in a way appropriate to an individual of a much lower bloodline. Long story short, they're being turned into a maid through a process very similar to the one you're going through now. It may be a tradgedy, but at least you'll have a familiar face?You may take this as a Blessing, replacing your friend or family member with a fellow internet shitposter. They really seem to be getting into things, and might have some 'lady x maid' fantasies. If you do not have any friends or family you must take the Blessing version or nothing at all. 28. (Curse) Impoverished Kingdom (1) You're a princess, yes. But there are princesses and there are princesses, if you get my drift. Your new kingdom is weak and poor compared to its neighbors. Your existence will be less luxurious and privileged than it would otherwise. Additionally, you will be under pressure to help maintain the kingdom's independence. This is a difficult task, and may require a political marriage to a more powerful nation. You will be happier if you learn to be happy with your lot in life. 28. (Blessing) Powerful Kingdom (1) Your kingdom is great and mighty compared to its neighbors. You will have access to wealth and power beyond compare, though only through your family. But so long as you keep your requests in proportion with your father's happiness, you can have almost anything. Clothes with fine imported fabrics, exotic foods, a castle of your own once you leave home... all this and more are possible. 29. (Curse) Grim Darkness (1) Your new world is no fairytale romance, but something that even the real middle ages would consider dark and gritty. The peasantry are oppressed, knights will, at best pay lip service to their vows, and everyone seems to be cheating on their spouses - be careful not to get an infection if your husband goes out whoring. There's also the rape. So much rape. I guess idiots think this sort of thing is realistic? At least, outside of whatever cartoonishly evil group takes the spot of morally black antagonists, making your kingdom look good in comparison. 29. (Blessing) Chivalrous Romance (1) The world is noble and bright, like something out of a fairy tale. While there is evil and darkness, good will always triumph, eventually, for people are good at heart. This is a land of noble quests against the dark places, and soul-deep romances. While the world tends to act like a story, there's nothing stopping you from flipping the script if you really want to. Just try to make sure that your evil reign lasts a good long while before a group of plucky heroes kills or converts you. 30. (Curse) Revolutionary Impulse (1) There's a reason that people in your old world don't decide matters of national leadership by who has the narrowest family tree and the best crown anymore. When it comes down to it, monarchy is a very bad governmental system. Unfortunately for you, the people of your new world are starting to come to that same conclusion. Try to avoid any comments about cake and if you want to escape with your head attached to your neck? If you're lucky your new family will maintain their wealth and privilige for your entire lifetime, and may even end up as a ceremonial constitutional monarchy. 30. (Blessing) Divine Right (1) The monarchs of your old ruler claimed to be divinely appointed by their god, but in your world that's empirically true. Monarchs and aristocrats are just better than everyone else. As a princess you'll be a good bit more physically durable, and find it easier to learn any magics, but your father is a true superman. It must be nice having entire religions about how great it is that you're in charge. 31. (Curse) Quest Escorted (1) Through a number of twists of fate, you're going to have to leave the palace and go on at least one adventure. Maybe you'll have to retrieve some magic jewel, or maybe you'll be kidnapped and have to get home, but whatever the case the challenges will be totally beyond you. Luckily for you you'll have one or more heroes to escort you around. Unluckily, you're basically dead weight. If you have any other requirements that would be rendered difficult or impossible to maintain while galavanting accross the world, they will be temporarily removed so long as you believably complain about not being able to do them. Try to avoid annoying the heroes too much, or they might just leave you. 31. (Blessing) Hero Quest (1) Through a number of twists of fate, you're going to have to leave the palace and go on at least one adventure. Maybe you'll have to retrieve some magic jewel, or maybe you'll be kidnapped and have to get home, but whatever the case you're going to have a great time. You'll get to see amazing places, meet interesting people, and eat exotic foods, all while forging life-long friendships and becoming a better person. There's also a good change that you'll learn some sort of ability that lets you contribute to the group. In any case, while you're adventuring any requirements you have will be greatly reduced, if you can't ignore them entirely. Should you maintain them all as best you're able, you'll find your adventures easier and more rewarding. 32. (Curse) Afflicted (1) You are afflicted with some sort of horrible curse. Well, another curse. Maybe you turn into a hideous monster under moonlight, maybe if you get pricked by a needle you'll fall die. Whatever the case, at best it's going to be incredibly annoying to rework your life around it. At worst you'll be living a truly cursed existence. If you want to break the curse you'll have to accept marrying whatever random person goes through an arduous quest, and that's never a fun time. 32. (Blessing) Dark Side (1) You are cursed, theoretically. Well, cursed again. In practice whatever downsides the new curse has are outweighed by cool side effects. Maybe you turn into a dragon, but is that so bad if you can control yourself? Dragons are awesome. Or maybe you have some sort of dark magics, forcing you to combine a more gothic aesthetic with incredible powers. In any case, the curse isn't very inconvenient, and you're probably happy to have it for an entire lifetime. At long last the spell is concluded! If you did your best to resist your curse, you will just be happy to be done with it, but if you worked with it you may have found yourself with some additional points. You may spend points to take additional cards: a normal card or curse costs one, and a Blessing costs two. You may not take the Blessing side of a card that you already took the curse side of, and vice versa. If you have something you want that doesn't appear on a card, you may create your own using the existing ones as a base.