My friend went off her meds because her therapist (not psychiatrist, not a doctor) told her to (I think he sounds like an idiot that should lose his license) and immediately became dangerously depressed (saying she was going to self harm etc) and intolerable. She turned into another person overnight. She lashes out at us over nothing, ignores us when we try to talk to her, says nasty things to us.

She deligitimized my mental illness (very similar to hers), telling me my problems are all my own fault since mine is just due to bad brain chemistry, but her problems aren't her responsibility because she had childhood trauma, so that makes hers "legitimate" and mine not.

Recently something happened she knew was coming up that she knew I was excited to talk to her about (we have one of the same favourite bands, and they released an album a few days ago) and she's just ignoring my messages. I was really looking forward to this. Liking the same music is how we met and became friends in the first place. I was really looking forward to talking to her about which songs were our favourite and everything.

And I know she isn't in some sort of crisis, or so depressed she can't reply, because she's posting about doing other stuff to facebook with photos of her smiling. (Apparently Frozen live was great show...). I know she's ignoring me just to piss me off. And she doesn't have a job or go to school; the grand sum of responsibility she has in her life is one hamster -- she's not so crazy busy she can't send me one quick message back.

I'd obviously prefer her to discuss what's wrong with me than assume, but since she won't, I would guess that probably she's made up some bullshit thing to be mad about for no reason.

And if she's actually mad at me for something legitimate, she should tell me that and discuss it with me and let me consider it and apologize.

It seems like most of her other friends have given up before me. She made this blog post about how everybody's cutting her out of her life acting like it's because we all can't handle how mentally ill she is, like we're all just giving up on her so easily. It's only kinda true. It's not because she's depressed. I'm depressed. I'm as depressed as she is. She's allowed to be depressed, or anxious, or whatever, and I'll stick by her. She can be in any shitty mood and I'll still be her friend.

But she still has to treat us with decency - and she's not.

She thinks it's this situation:

    "How are you?"

    "I'm shitty, I'm really depressed :'("

    "OMG negative energy!! I'm cutting you out of my life you're on your own byeeeeee"

When it's really this situation:

    "How are you?"

    "I'm shitty, **** off loser"

    "...Okay I guess I'll leave you alone then..."

This is an oversimplification and not a real quote obviously, just making the point.

I've tried to support her about it and reach out to her but she doesn't want it. That's fine, if she doesn't want support from me, just friendship, then that's okay. As long as she's seeing a therapist or whatever.

So I've tried just being her friend, but she flip flops wildly and unpredictably between wanting that and being super talkative and lovely, and not being interested at all and ignoring me and sometimes being actively nasty.

You can't reject support and say you don't want it, then complain your friends aren't supporting you enough.

You're allowed to be depressed. You're allowed to be mentally ill. We'll still be your friend. But you do have to be nice to us. Or at least be decent. Or at least try.

And worse than any of this, ten times worse, a million times worse and billion times more important than everything I just said, is that I'm worried she's in danger of hurting herself or suicide. I just don't really talk about that because she keeps it private until after she's had an episode, so there isn't anything I can do to to help her about it.

I hate this. I miss my friend. And I don't want this to be one of those things where I cut her off for being toxic then feel all better for that. That's not what I want. That won't make me feel good. I want her to stop being so toxic. And I want her to be happy and have a good life and stop feeling so shitty and being so depressed. I love my friend and I miss her and I want her back.