Hey emi! I am a random guy who started watching your streams, absolutely in a random way really not too long ago.  Was browsing the VRchat category, opened up your stream and found out yours.. immediately found you really cool and funny, and decided to sub. This is to tell you something after watching yesterday stream: there are definitely people around here that don't know, or didn't know, about your past.. and even in the group of people who did know about it, there are still people who still decided to support you, after thiking with their own head.

This is really just to say that there are DEFINITELY a lot of people who decided to follow you and sub because of who you are NOW, despite all you had to go through (after getting to know that).
Don't be afraid to let it all out when you need to, and i get it is hard to do so if you think you'll heal by yourself as that is really the same with me. You have people caring for you and willing to listen. Try to lay some of your concerns on them, they might or might not be able to help, but either way I believe that letting what you have on your mind out with them will let you feel better.

I need  to say, i don't think you should quit streaming because of your past. You can't say for certain that you won't find partners willing to work work with you, even if you warn them about your past. I am sure you will find some, for sure.
And, in the meantime you will still have us supporting and caring for you.

I am sure every single sub from yesterday was because we felt sorry for you. They were because, once again, people care for you, and want to support you in any way they can, and that is the one way we have to cheer you up :)

Whatever you decide, you will still have people who can't wait to show your their support. Just don't rush things, don't feel forced to do or not to do certain things. Try to think about that, try to talk with your boyfriend about it, or anyone that you trust, really. And whatever you decide, decide in a way that will make you feel better.

Again, one way or another, we'll still be here waiting patiently for you :)