I'll  hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!;
I'll hit you so hard you 'll have to take off your shoes to shit!;
I'll hit you so hard you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi!;
I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!;
I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!;
You're so dumb you think socialism means partying!;
You're so dumb you think manual labor is a Mexican!;
You're so dumb you think Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!;
You're so dumb it takes you an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes"!;
You  so stupid you probably think Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.;
You so dumb you got blonde roots in your eyeballs.;
Your so stupid, that you got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W's.;
Your so stupid, that you went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.;
Your so stupid, that you went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.;
Your so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.;
She  was  so ugly...  they used to push her face into dough to make gorilla biscuits;
You're so ugly you'd make a train take a dirt road!;
You're so ugly when you walk into a bank, they turn the cameras off!;
You're  so  ugly,  if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!;
You're  so  ugly  if  you  joined  an  ugly  contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!";
You're so ugly your face is closed on weekends!;
You're so ugly you could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!;
You're so ugly if my dog looked like you, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards!;
You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mother!;
You're  so ugly when you were born, your mother saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!";
You're so ugly they know what time you were born, because your face stopped the clock!;
She's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock!;
She's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!;
Your face so so ugly when you cry the tears run up your face.;
Your so ugly, your mother had to feed you with a sling shot.;
Your  so  ugly,  your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you.;
You're so fat when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the HOUSE;
You're so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!;
You're  so  fat  if  you  weighed  five  more  pounds,  you could get group insurance!;
You're  so  fat  you  get  clothes in three sizes:  extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!;
You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!;
Your  so  fat,  that you have to strap a beeper on your belt to warn people you are backing up.;
Your so fat, that you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.;
Your wife said she liked seafood.  So I gave her crabs.;
Are those your ****, or did Laurel and Hardy leave you their heads?;
Is that an accent, or is your mouth just full of sperm?;
If I had change for a buck, I could have been your dad!;
You're so skinny, that you use a bandaid as a maxi-pad.;
You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.;
I'm  looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.;
When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity.;
Well I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.;
I've  had  many  cases  of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.;
You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.;
Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?;
The  thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.;
When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents.;
All of your ancestors must number in the millions; its hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.;
Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.;
I  hear  that  when  you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.;
I  hear that when your mother first saw you she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.;
You  were  born  because  your  mother  didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.;
No  one should be punished for accident of birth but you look too much like a wreck not to be.;
Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.;
You  were the answer to a prayer.  Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.;
You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet.;
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.;
I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure.;
You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.;
At  your speed you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.;
If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.;
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling ---- in your skull?;
You  have  nothing  to fear from my baser instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you.;
It's your life --- but I wish you'd let us have it.;
I  don't  consider you a vulture.  I consider you something a vulture would eat.;
I  think you should live for the moment.  But after that I doubt I'll think so.;
Man you're alive!  But I wish you weren't.;
I  believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you WERE dead.;
I  admire  your because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief and a cheat.;
You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.;
You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!;
You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light.;
Roses are red, violets are blue, i have 5 fingers and the middle one is for You.;
Yo mommas so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go!;
Yo mama so dumb she stared at da orange juice bottle cause it said concentrate;
Your momma is so fat that when she stepped on the scale it said one at a time please.;
Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves;
Yo mama so dumb she sold her car for gas money;
Yo Mama's so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.;
You're mom's so stupid, she got locked up in a super market and starved;
Yo Momma is so fat she walked out in high heels and came back in flip flops.;
Yo' Momma's So Fat When her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.;
Yo mama's so fat when she ordered a water bed they layed a blanket on the Pacific Ocean;
Yo mamma's like a shotgun, one **** and she blows.;
Yo mama so dumb that when I said "christmas is just around the corner" she went looking for it!;
Yo Mamma's so fat it takes two busses and a train to get on her good side.;
Your mom is so stupid, I said it's chilly outside, your mom ran outside wit a bowl and a spoon and asked where??;
Yo Momma so fat she stepped on da scale and and it said to be continued...;
Yo Mama's so poor, when I was asking why she was banging on the dumpster she said, "My kids locked me out.";
Yo Momma so dumb when she saw a bus with white people in it she said, "Go catch that twinky.";
Yo mommas so fat, she has to use a matress for a tampon.;
Yo mamma's so stupid, she jumped off a boat and missed the water.;
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver.;
Yo momma's so fat that when she goes outside in her yellow jacket people say "Look it's the magic school bus!!!";
Yo Mamma so fat that when the school bus drives by she yells STOP THAT TWINKIE!;
Yo Mama so fat she went into a zoo and a zookeeper said, "Oh boy...another elephant got out!";
Yo mamma so stupid, it took her two hours to watch 60 minutes;
Yo mamma is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by mexicans!;
Yo mama's so fat that when she went to wal-mart she tripped over k-mart and hit target!!!!:-D;
Yo momma is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and made change.;
Yo mama's so poor when I saw her kickin' a can down the street, I asked her what was she doing and she said she was movin';
Your mammas so stupid she got locked in mattress store and slept on the floor.;
Yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out....;
Your mama is so fat she jumped in to the ocean and the whales stated to sing we are family.;
Yo mama's so fat she has her own zipcode;
Yo Momma is like a doornob, everyone gets a turn.;
Yo mamma's so fat she fell in love and broke it;
Yo Mama's so fat, when she stepped onto the scale it said "to infinity and beyond!";
Yo Momma so fat, when she went to swim in the ocean she said "Oops I'm in the kiddy pool!";
I thought you were ugly ... and then I met your mama;
Yo Mamma is like a hockey playa, she doesnt changer her pads for 3 periods!;
Yo Momma's so ugly on Halloween, people go as her.;
Yo momma's so fat that when she jumped for joy she got stuck!;
Yo Momma is so fat that her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.;
Yo' mama so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself!;
Yo Momma so fat her tanning bed was Mexico!;
Your momma is so retarded she got stabbed in a shootout.;
Yo momma's so fat, she walked in front of the t.v and I missed a whole series of friends!;
Yo momma is so fat, she's taller sideways.;
Yo Mamma so stupid that she went to Dr. Dre for liposuction.;
Yo Momma so dumb, she sat on the TV to watch the couch;
Yo momma's so fat, she uses the pacific ocean to take a bath.;
I'm not here... but yo mama is ;-);
Yo Momma's so horny, when she found out Winnie the Pooh had no pants, she a got a boner.;
Yo momma so greasy they hired her at the cinima to put the butter on the popcorn!;
Yo Momma so stupid her favorite color is clear.;
Yo mamas so fat that at the circus she nicknamed the elephant *** wee.;
Your momma's so fat that when she fell in the forest, the loggers said "TIMBER"!;
Your momma is so fat that when she sweats she can be used as a steam roller.;
Your momma's so fat she has to use the ocean as her toilet!;
Hey!! they made a song about your weight 8675309;
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!;
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?;
Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.;
If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??!;
mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh;
Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle;
People like you are the reason I'm on medication.;
Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies;
I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you. Don't bother leaving a message.;
Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!;
I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.;
Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED.;
I need you...........I want you............To get out of my face. Damn not you again.......;
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege.;
If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you first.;
I am not anti-social..I just don't like you;
If you're gonna act like a dick you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one !!!;
Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...;
There are some stupid people in this world. You just helped me realize it.;
Until you called me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.;
If you ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would you say when you got there?;
Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance!;
Cancel my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues.;
I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!!;
Earth is full. Go home.;
If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.;
Hey, heres a hint. If i don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work?;
How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...;
Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!;
What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...;
I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.;
Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?;
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.;
God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes.;
Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.;
I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.;
Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.;
Why don't you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself;
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone;
How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? I'm away live with it.;
FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this morning... Leave me alone!;
Let's see, I've walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friends...Nope, this list doesn't say that I'm required to talk to you.;
When you were born you were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom! leave a message;
My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you're really strange.... I guess that means I can't talk to you!;
Forget the ugly stick! you must have been born in the ugly forrest!;
I really don't like you but if you really must leave a message, I'll be nice and at least pretend to care.;
You know the drill! You leave a message....and I ignore it!;
The Village just called. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldn't really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours...;
I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!;
Why are you bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense.;
You dont know me, you just wish you did.;
Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't you go play in traffic?!;
You have your whole life to be a jerk....so why dont you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!!;