Hm maybe this will be very vague general advice and won't help.

But, maybe my conception of what intelligence is or traits I value/consider to be intelligent traits helps me.


Self-awareness, and lack of ego/being humble... I think are the two most important things to make up intelligence.

If you are self aware of your issue (you seem like you are), you basically already win. Because, if you know the problem you know the solution.

Then, being humble and not having an ego. If you have this trait, you won't be as afraid of failure. Will be more willing to engage into action, and do what needs to be done for the greater good.


I don't really consider like lame things like IQ, knowledge, etc. as major areas of what makes someone truly intelligent, but, those factors definitely matter.


I would always argue, the person who is TRULY self aware (in a unbiased way), and isn't lazy (as in commits' to their thoughts with actions (im far from this btw aha)) is what someone who is truly intelligent. (NOTE: Being self-aware can be a double edge sword, and lead to overthinking, but over time you just learn to live with it.)

The example I would use for this is Goethe, I'd look into his life. There was a lot people more 'intellectual' then him like Schiller. But, when it was all said and done everyone knows Schiller as Goethe's friend... What's the difference? Those traits, humility and self-awareness (Tbf also goethe had great charisma, social skills so it definitely helped), but, Goethe was extremely self aware. And, even though he wasn't a big fan of Schiller at first, realized they could both gain and learn from their friendship. If Goethe had an ego, he would've never befriended Schiller in the first place, and they would've never had such a great friendship.


Lastly though, the biggest trick I can give you now that I think about it... Is to look normal.. That's simple. Or, if you think you're too retarded looking for that just get jacked as **** or the best fashion ever. Think of your clothing akin to animals' colors in nature, except you get to choose them. When other people see someone who is normal or even interesting looking in a positive way (not like someone dressing overly edgy or extravagant), they will be much more socially lubricated for you. They will instantly assume you're normal, and won't be able to tell you're autistic just off your outward appearance. You can just act a bit aloof in your convo, and like avoid eye contact still as well doing this shit, it won't get you *****, but, it will get you better at socializing which in turn will get you *****. If you just start talking to everyone you see when you go out (basic ass small talk to start, then ramp it up and say random shit/fun facts/songs you listened to/etc.), this skill will improve.. Remember, if you have autism, it isn't that you're PHYSICALLY incapable of socializing. I guarantee in your lifetime, you've probably had conversations or moments (very few but still), where you made eye contact, weren't socially anxious at all and had a good convo/time. If this is true, there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to increase this behavior. Legit the difference between normal people and autistic is, autistic people have powers in other areas, but have to learn socializing as a skill. Whereas normal people, socializing comes natural to them, but they do not have powers in other areas... Which would you rather have? To learn how to talk to people (get prob awkward asf moments for a bit, but then eventually get better), or just be a normal dull person who can do small talk without feeling corny.


Anyways back to the appearance. Pick something you're comfortable with to focus on that has to relate to your outward appearance, if you look normal, you can be a bit socially awkward and that's half the battle. If you look normal, you can be awkward or even weird in conversation (not long term ones), and most people won't really care because they will assume you're normal. A lot of your issue also comes with the fact you already assume you're some social weirdo reject outcast. If I thought that about myself (which at times I have, even recently). There's been moments where I literally will be high and do jack shit all day, and then when I have to go out in public and see people I legit feel like a loser and am way way way less sociable. It's not even because I do jack shit all day and smoke weed, it's the mental framing I go into it. I think "god I'm such a degen or something..." but, nobody in ******* public knows that. So if you just are clean, and dress decent you're normal... You need to realize as well, most normal people aren't even THAT good at socializing. Like if you're going to compare yourself to a frat bro, or a more businessey type person where their life is built on networking, yeah it's like comparing a native language speaker to someone who's just learning a new language. But, the average person you'll just see on the street generally is socially boring I'd say. Maybe not awkward or anxious, but, they don't have much to say dude.. So, you can even use your autism as a strength. There is def some shit you're interested about you can talk about, just find universality in a random moment, and bring some shit up and just whatever improv. Maybe also talk to yourself more throughout your day and talk to yourself in the mirror, you should be able to just have a flowing conversation with yourself or just make up a fake convo...


Good luck, I think you honestly have some solid info that can get you to the right path... You'll realize dude if you go into this shit with the right mindset, although you're socially atrophied or whatever the **** you wanna say... If you just jump into the storm, and from now on every time you leave your house you make it a rule you talk to at least one person (can be as simple as asking the time (although that's beta, but it's a start)), it will shed off faster than you can imagine. Humans are made to adapt, if your SURVIVAL was at stake, and you had to start socializing or whatever do you think you wouldn't do it. If you really put yourself in that situation, I think you would. Now, getting ***** might not be as important as survival (some may argue it is more! XD), but, just learning how to carry yourself with confidence and stop giving a **** about what people think about you. Is SO important for everything, not even just socializing...


That's also like one last quick thing..

Realize, that most of the people who you give a **** about. If you ACTUALLY got to know them, you wouldn't give a **** about their opinions. You need to realize dude, even the people who are successful or seem successful are MOSTLY still extremely dull and boring. I've met a lot of people, from a lot of diff backgrounds and shit. Even the ones I admire that are godlike at stuff I value, and super successful. Even they are dull, because they dedicate so much of their lives and time to one thing they miss out on other aspects... 

So if most people are dull? Why give a **** about what they think about you? If it's positive or negative? It's completely their choice how they wanna interpret you, and since they barely know you they won't even get an accurate glimpse. So if you have moments where you're just in an elevator, or see someone randomly. Unapologetically, and with confidence just say some shit. More often than not, it will elicit a good response..

One quick example of this then I'm done, it's also a one week anniversary of this event so yeah.

Basically, I have an 8 am BIO lab, and my group was like all girls who all looked tired as ****. So, I just straight up said "you guys look dead" when we were talking like right before the teacher started lecturing. They all laughed and like said some shit about bla bla bla tired, school so busy, exams, bla bla...  If they reacted negative (which is way more unlikely, because if anything THAT MAKES THINGS MORE SOCIALLY AWKWARD, normal people aren't going to do shit like this), I wouldn't give a ****, because I don't value their opinions that much anyways. One of the girls in the group is pretty woke, but, we're friendly to each other because since she's smart we can talk about more nerdy shit. The other girls are all just basic normie chicks who watch friends and shit, and they like definitely are a bit interested in me. But, like even if they thought I was repulsive. I wouldn't give a ****, they legit try their ass off in school to do slightly above average, watch friends all day and netflix, and then go out to bars with their friends who they have nothing but transactional relationships with... This is the life a lot of people live, especially girls, and it's really not that bad of a life. But, when you're autistic you can understand that this would never be your choice.. Since this is what most people live like, you shouldn't let that shit make you upset socially in anyway.


Also OPNE MORE LAST THING...

I know that saying like don't value others opinions, and go in with the assumption most people are dumbasses is a bit egotistical. And, it makes my post a bit paradoxical by nature. But, trust... You can be humble, and also understand why things are this way and most people are dull bla bla bla. And, still trreat everyone with respect, good faith, and humility. You must understand, even if those girls are braindead as ****. I can atleast learn ONE thing from them. I can learn some shit about the TV show friends, or ******* maybe a cool place to eat, a secret thing to get at starbucks, etc... By focusing your attention onto things like this, you can appreciate the dull people. But, also respect them and realize even though you probably have some interesting spergish shit about you, it comes with a cost of being a noob socially. So, play to your strengths, but don't overdo it... As we all know, nobody wants to hear about some autist rant about some shit they are passionate about for hours or whatever. Just keep shit like that brief, and ask questions and learn about other people..


Then one last simple thing: read how to win friends and influence people... Actually read it, don't watch like a ******* video essay or audiobook. It's an easy short read, if you read my dumbass comments you can get through it... It's loaded with examples of good socializing, and there is a lot of little shit you can nitpick from there to add to your own skillset. A key principle is just learn about other people, ask questions bla bla, and it's really true. Everyone wants to talk about themselves, but, don't make this your default or go to... Be an interesting person yourself, and show that to the world. But, as a bail out or a just really good opener do basic HTWFAIP shit, just ask them questions and make them talk about themselves... Don't do it in an obvious way, just keep it in your back pocket..

Best,
GL