Who ******* cares? 

There are certain moments in life where love passes us by
Some begin with a whimper, some end with a cry
In our hearts we embrace the silence, it numbs what’s inside
A burning sensation deep within
A bitterness pervading the skin
A stinging sensation
Born of days filled with rumination
We **** with our fists, our hands and fingers
Hoping that this feeling of emptiness will no longer linger
If I cum over and over again maybe my heart won't feel so barren 
I hate, and I stab and I bleed
I fall to my knees and weep
I thrash with rage and I wander
Like a sordid beast filled with hunger
Lost of meaning, depraved, deprived of hope
Angry at the world
Refusing to cope
I understand but I hate
I die bloody and thrashing on the field of battle
My being completely shook
an existence rattled 
So, I breathe my dying breath
An icy frozen hollow path
Paved by my hypocrisy 
The lies within my skin
My demons, I fear facing them once again
Moments of hope, so far and few and between
Yet, why am I on the existence of god so keen? 
Perhaps the suffering of my own
The suffering of others will cease to matter
If I let these hopes that meaning exists scatter
But if hope, god and love are a lie
What are we left with?
Why should we struggle to survive?
Why should goodness matter? 
Can't we embrace destruction
Let our brains hit the wall and splatter? 
There is no rationality, no meaning or religion
There is only unbidding suffering
An unflinching uncaring reality
A host, a prisoner of its own shell
An intelligence that’s meaningless as well
For the one that writes this is not the one that dictates
But simply the one who wishes for their lives the despair to take