I just wanted to start this off by saying that I wish I wasn't reaching out to you like this, as I know its just shit, but I just know deep in my heart I have to try. I have no way of doing this the "right" way, but at this point it feels I've got nothing more to lose by trying, and you are WAY too important to me to not try. 

You have every right to completely ignore this and not hear what I have to say, and if you do do that then I'll completely understand and accept that, and ill start the process of moving on and moving forward, and allowing you to do the same if you feel that's what's best for you. But from my point of view, to lose something so special to me over what I know was a total misunderstanding doesn't seem right to me, and I know deep down it wouldn't sit right with you either if you understand what actually happened in that moment. 

Let me start from the beginning. So it started off when you came back from being afk, and saw that I was gonna take a sip with one of Krispys friends. You left the world in what I thought was a jokingly mad way, which you have done before. Although I was confused, in that moment I didn't think you were truly upset as it was a small thing. I knew eventually you would come back. But time went on and I became increasingly concerned that I had really really upset you,  so I said to Krispy I'll be right back, and so I left. That was when I messaged you to tell you to come back, making sure that everything was actually OK as if it wasn't I knew you would tell me. I was in a world on my own for about 5-10 minutes and I heard nothing, so I thought something wasn't right. That was when Krispy requested off me, and noticed you still weren't here, and asked where you were.  That was when I started saying that I wasn't sure where you were, and that I was worried I had actually really upset you. I then started to say "Oh, she could just be being silly right now", implying you weren't really upset and that you were just taking your time to come back. That was when you joined. Hearing me begin that sentence. 

Now this I know is why you are so upset with me, especially. I know for a fact it seemed like I was chatting shit behind your back, and I know that you despise that. You just came at the worst time where the context wasn't there, and I understand in the moment you wouldn't want to hear any reason or excuse as to what I could have been saying, and I totally understand why. I know that night you already had a lot going on, with your mum being shitty, with Krispy being overwhelming earlier in the day, so for you to come in and hear what you thought was your best fcking friend chatting shit behind your back? That was all too much, and I understand that and get why you reacted the way you did. But I know you know deep down I would never EVER do that. If either of us have ever had something to say to each other, we have always said it. Straight up. No shade, no bullshit. 

I think that pretty much sums everything up. Now I can't force you nor do I want you to change how you feel, if you don't feel that my point of view gives anymore context or understanding of the situation. If you are still done, and want nothing more to do with me, I understand. At the end of the day these are your feelings, and you are completely right and valid in feeling how you do. 

I just had to get this off my chest because I know how special we are to each other,  and you deserve to hear the full context of the situation. 

Whatever decision you make, you still and forever will be someone that is so special to me, and I will always love you, incondicionalmente 

❤